I know that people say that I should be happy with the life that I have, but right now, I just don’t see anything good in life…. I seriously want to die. I cry so much, but I don’t let people see. I am called names, made fun of, etc. It has become too much for me. I just don’t want to be alive. I tried to commit suicide, but I sadly failed. I just don’t see the point of being alive at this point. If I had the chance, I would try it again, but my mom hid all the pills and sharp items in the house. Just great. It seems as if she wants me around, but I don’t really believe it. No one should love me. I am a screw up. I feel as if I shouldn’t have even been born. I just make my mom sad and as people say, I am just a fat, ugly whore. There’s nothing good about me. I wish that there was, but I don’t really see anything. Even before I tried suicide, I would cut. I still do. It takes away the pain. I have an abusive dad. My ribs are bruised permanently because of him. I was also molested once and raped twice. I feel like crying every day and never stopping. I just….. I just don’t wanna be alive. I am nothing special. I am just a screwed up kid who people love to make fun of. There’s nothing special about me…. Someone come save me or show me a reason to be alive, cause I see no reason anymore.
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6 comments
I am sorry to hear that you feel like this, i know only too well what it is like to feel the way you do. I fight each and every day to stay alive.
I am sorry to hear you feel their is no other way and you feel you have run out of options, sometimes the hardest option is to carry on living.
I lost lost count of my failed attempts, I carry on living for now as i believe things can improve, it has to be better than what i was stuck in, i am kind of in limbo at te moment, neither up nor down.
I wish i could get on a horse ride over to you and be your saviour, your knight in shining armour. If i could help you, take away your pain, if i could be a shoulder to cry on, i would be there, in a heart beat, wish i could just pick you up in a massive bear hug and tell you it will all be ok.
Please dont do anything, if you ever need to talk i am here.
Crimson, you are amazing. That comment made me smile. Even if it was just a small smile, it was still a smile. I promise that I won’t do anything and I will try to survive, for your comment made me realize that there are great people out there that care about me. I will email you as much as possible because you seem to be the light in my dark, stormy sky.
I too think that people on the outside judge/think that just becuase things look good on the outside that there isn’t anything terribly wrong on the inside. Yeah it may look like we have it all, whatever that may be to some people, but we are totally missing something inside…be that from our past or our present or even what we think will come in the future. We need to feel that we are cared about, that we matter, we are special and that someone thinks about us and one day I think we will, if we can just hold on long enough……
Zacurious, I agree. I think that we hold on long enough, then we will find someone to make us feel loved and wanted. It’s gonna take a while, but if we try to survive, it will happen. I wish that we felt this way already, yet we don’t. We mostly feel unloved and no one wants us around. I wanna feel happy, yet it seems hard to do. I still wanna die, I just try to block the thoughts tho. Sometimes its hard tho.
I feel so similar to you. And I want to die also. but.
just being on this site, reaching out for help… it shows that you don’t really want to die.
there is a part of you that is striving to survive. and you will. just keep your head up. look for any good thing in life. anything at all. even the smallest thing, if you make it a big enough deal.. it can bring your mood up significantly.
at the moment.. i keep thinking about how it’s sunny today, and how my brothers love me even though my parents hate me. just find something!
I’m always here. I know you probably hear that quite a bit. but i honestly mean it. i’ve been through shit. i can relate to a lot. and if i can’t, i’ll still be here to listen and try to help.
Thank you, Shelbs. I will talk to you as much as I can. I try to think of the good, but sometimes it isn’t enough. I got great friends, but it seems as tho my family hates me. I do want help. I want to live, even if its only for one of two people. Knowing that will help me. I am always here to talk. Just email me and I will respond asap.