I know I’m depressed. There’s nothing particularly wrong with my life. Nothing gives me pleasure any more. It’s been like this over six years now. I’ve tried essentially every antidepressant, every psychotherapy and several experimental treatments. I’m about to have ECT.
I probably have 30+ years of life ahead of me. I can’t spend it like this. My goal is not to have to in a way that results in minimal harm to others.
Making it look like an accident would probably minimize harm. How do I do that?
Suggestions?
6 comments
Geezzzz that sure sounds like I just wrote that! I thought the same…I just want to stop existing and I don’t want to harm anyone in the process. Sad thing is that I do know what I can do but anyway I do it, it will hurt someone.
Maybe it is time to change the way you live your life. Have you tried finding an activity that keeps your mind and body activated? Try skydiving, surfing, and or some sort of extreem activity. I used to have the same feeling about life as well. I decided to try living on the wild side for awhile and my life hasn’t been the same sence. With that I also was able to meet new people and this was a real help. Dont give up on life and happiness, it is out there maybe you have been looking in the wrong places.
You will never leave this life with minimal harm. I lost my brother to suicide about a year ago and I live everyday in pain because of it. I will miss him for the rest of my life and that is not ever going to be at a minimal to me.
Keep on fighting, I will be hoping you find you way soon.
Be safe…
Blackened Fish has it right, I know that I cannot be replaced, and although I have ahd no motivation to do anything other than that and I have not felt more than 3 seconds of happiness in the last 10 years, I keep on fighting because I know I will hurt others if I make the decision. Those three seconds of happiness I found by finding someone, she is increadible, and although I have to let her go now as she already has someone and I am worthless, she helped me feel happiness again. I hope that helps, everyone here would be really sorry to lose you.
It’s been like that for me for around 15 years but it changes as your personality changes. There are various strategies that you learn with experience. I am not weak and I can think of several on here who would defend peoples rights
so it’s not about weakness. No matter how depressed anyone is there will always be times when you feel better than other times or have a more positive outlook. Focus on that. Regardless of how depressed there will always be things you like in comparison. Trust those moments. It might not be much, but it’s enough.
whatever you do do not hijack an airplane.and crash. I’m flying next week
Thank you all for your comments.
Blackened fish, I have tried changing my life. Everybody I know is really excited about what I’m doing. I wish I was. I’m not uinhappy about the changes. I thing they were and are good ideas. But they aren’t bringing me any pleasure.
Titanstrong, thank you. I too am married to a wonderful woman. I fear that the stigma of suicide might do lasting damage, but I know my depression is very difficult for her to endure. I can’t help but think she’d have a better life in the long term if my depression weren’t a part of it.