I have had suicidal thoughts for several years now, some days are worse then others. I started living care-free…drinking until I black-out, putting myself in bad situations, and taking pills until I end up sick. I never really put enough thought into what my family would have to go through if I left. I felt like if I could somehow explain my pain to them…leave a thorough note, they would eventually understand. Day before yesterday I lost one of the most beautiful people I know. Just like that…she’s gone. Everyone is flipped upside-down, questioning what we could have said…done…anything to stop this. 22 years old, and that’s the end. Never again will we get to be blessed with that beautiful smile, never again will we get to enjoy that contagious laugh, I can’t even tell you what I would do to give her just one more hug and try to talk her out of it! I now have no intentions of leaving. I may not be happy, but I don’t want to put anyone through this misery. My heart-aches for her family…I am realizing now…that even with explanation, and even though I understand the misery that she was going through, it doesn’t help the pain of losing someone you love. I think that this is something that could have changed, and she had an entire life ahead of her – smart, beautiful, care-free…she could have had so much, I just know it! She could have been happy! I will get help for my depression, I will seek it medically and I will speak with my close friends/family. They need me, and I need them. Please, if you are considering suicide…talk to someone. I know that sounds so generic, but really…sometimes you just don’t realize how many people care. Rest in peace babygirl, I hope you found the peace you have been looking for… </3
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4 comments
I’m glad you came to this realization, hold onto that when things get dark again.
Not to be snarky, but I’m truly curious: what if you are not beautiful and wonderful like the loved one you lost? I mean, what if you are unattractive or aren’t really popular, or what if you are undesirable in some way? What have you got going for you then? What is the point of living then? 🙁
@onlyliveonce im sorry for ur loss man and know that we are all here to talk to if family and friends let u down
@Halsyon lookily for u u dont have to worry about that 🙂 i have seen some total dogs of both sexses pull farely decent counterparts. For ages it astounded me and i must say i put some thought into it. They pull because they are self confident, even cocky. To be honest its as much about balls as it is about lucks and the point of living when u have nothing is to find it. Find someone that makes u want to live and dont give into insecuties cause ur worth as much as if not more than everyone else girl!
I was just wondering because while I would not consider myself “ugly” I have a physical feature I am self-conscious of and I feel like it looks kind of weird. Most people reassure me it’s fine but I am not convinced. I just wish I felt “normal”, like I imagine this beautiful girl the OP talked about must have been. But what do I know, my outlook is distorted.
Ya its impossible to believe them, its not so much that their oppinion dosnt matter to u its that ur… self hate for want of a better way of saying it is stronger than how u value their oppinion. but i ask u. what does it matter. i mean why should it matter to u how other people view u. I mean so what if u had a tiny Siamese twin stiking out of the side of ur head that suffered from terets. As far as im concerned. fuk anyone that dosnt like u as u are now. u are who u are for a reason, and u seem like a genuinely nice person. for any man. any true man thats all that matter.
P.S sorry if u do actually have a Siamese twin with terets on the side of ur head