I couldn’t sleep last night. I barely got 2 hours. I dreamt my father came to me just to tell me how much of a nuisance I am and how much trouble I’ve caused him. I woke up, just in time for class, but I couldn’t find the energy to get up. Once it was too late to go, I started crying. Â I’m going to screw up my whole life, or should I rather say, I’ve already screwed up my whole life. I’ve been going on like this for months now, and I can’t find the courage to tell anyone.
Ever since one of my best friends died, I can’t think of anything but to follow suit. I don’t have anything anymore. I don’t have friends, all my family lives so far away and I don’t talk to them. I don’t have a job. Soon I’ll run out of money. I’ll probably flunk out of college this semester. I feel like my days are numbered.
4 comments
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I just lost my best friend as well but he is still alive-he just left because I was too much work for him I guess. But I can’t be motivated or happy or anything but lost and empty. I just hope eventually it’ll pass.
Your friend made a choice to move on, so celebrate that he/she is liberated from their body. We feel sorry for ourselves when we believe people are gone. Physically, ya, they’re gone, and their presence is missed for sure…I empathize with you on that. But from their perspspective they do not want to see you suffer or feel bad as they are in spirit and are still aware of you, believe it or not. When I go, I want people to celebrate my life, not mourn me. Society has held the belief that death is a bad thing. Mourn as you need, but I hope you understand that your friend decided it was time. There are no accidents. Take care.
Pokémon~ How can you screw up your life? If it’s about education, it will always be there. Not like it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, eh. Unless you’re struggling with poverty then oh boy…
Oh Sweetie
Has your father made you feel this way? He should not have said anything so spiteful cos you are his child.
My friend got murdered and I went like crazy for about a year but then realized that I had to move on and life is for living.
I don’t think about him every day now. Life is better for me than it ever was and I am a lot older than you.
Please hang on in there and mix and socialize with people. Then you will meet friends. Maybe not now or not in a year but it will happen.
Tight hugs for you over the network