i’m 16 and every day i try to think of ways to end my life. I wake up in the middle of the night and just think about everything and how bad i’ve fucked up. This year i got recruited by prep schools for hockey and golf, but my grades were shit so i didn’t get accepted anywhere. now i see all of my friends from hockey who are going to these amazing places and love their lives. i cant stop thinking about what would have been if i hadnt been such a dumbass and just done my school work. i know i’ll regret this mistake for the rest of my life. Before any of this happened, i was friends with a group of guys from hockey. I am pretty good looking, but they are all studs. i would hear about all of the girls they were gettin with and i cant seem to even get a girl to talk to me. i dont do anything wrong…but they just dont say anything. any time i get something going with a girl, i always think its going great and then the next day i get fucking friendzoned. i am so fucking tired of it. my friends at school are total douche bags to me and they just make things even worse without realising it. every breath i take is one more then i want. my family loves me and i know that it would kill them if i ended my life, but i cant seem to break this curse. nothing meens anything to me anymore. i put on this fake face around everyone and it kills me that no one bothers to ask. if they do ask, they accept what i say and leave it at that. i cant believe people in this world are so fucking ignorant. to top it all off, there is this one girl who i really like at the moment. i took her to my prom and she was a drag. she didnt feel good, which i understand, but she didnt even try to have fun. then mid prom i find out she is taking some bum fuck black dude from her town. it was like someone took a sledgehammer to my spirit. shes an amazing girl, but she leads me on and then i find shit like that out. friendszone, as usual. and the worst part about it is i cant get over her. i just get these thoughts of how shes with this other dude fuckin him and he’s a fucking dirtbag. i feel so angry all the time i just want to walk into traffic. i cant find any positives in where im going to be in a few years, or even months and i just want everything to go away. please post anything to try and help me feel better about myself. i really dont want to end my life, but i feel like thats all i have to turn to because no one cares.
3 comments
this might sound like a very generic statement but I have heard that time heals all wounds and things do eventually get better.
Either you’re talking to the wrong girls, or you need to work on your skills with them.
The way I see it, there are two groups of girls: The ones you like, and the ones who like you. Sometimes, the two groups converge, and you have mutual attraction. These are the girls, you should be hitting on: The ones you’re attracted to, who also give you good signals, i.e. look you in the eyes and smile at you, you know the way.
Regarding girl skills, I don’t have them, so can’t help you there, but the easiest way to learn them would be to discuss the subject with all the female friends you seem to have picked up over the years. Girls can usually give you pointers. My guesses would be most girls like honesty, passion and a sense of humour.
The girl from the prom, you said she seemed bored. That would be a good indication that maybe she didn’t like you from the start. I dunno. But if you can’t get over her, pull her aside and tell her how you feel, that you like her and are a bit jealous. If she blows you off, that should help you get over her. Otherwise, you’re in.
In general, find out what you enjoy in life and put those activities first. That can help you develop passion. Find people you like to hang out with and have fun with them, that will feed your good humour. And be honest, be yourself, you’re young, you’re healthy and maybe you’re a bit depressed. But depression is rarely permanent, and it is very common, many people go through bouts of it in their lifetime.
You’re still so young, you know? There are a lot of opportunities still open to you. The fact that you got recruited means you’re good. So you could play that strength -cut a deal or something. Get into local competitions or sports clubs. Busy yourself with other things, hobbies or sports. Don’t let yourself become idle because that leads to thinking and thinking makes you relieve.
Advice, when talking to girls, be honest, don’t pretend. Treat them well. Be straightforward with what you want. It’s best that the girl you want to date at least knows where you want to go with the relationship. And look at the cues. Seriously. That girl, I’m sorry to say this, was not interested. On that note, we also tend to give out confusing signals which is why it’s better to say if you want to date. It saves you the heartache and if the girl says no you can tell her to give you a chance, so she can consider it instead of thinking you’ll be strictly friends and outright friendzoning you.