Hello, I’m marissa and I’m suicidal, achoolic, drug addict, and anorexic. I’m 14 and I drink and do drugs every night. I make myself puke 3 times a day. I have suicidal thoughts every night.
I live with my mom and her husband(sadly my step dad) I’m verbaly abused by both of them everyday. I was several times physical. I have no control over my life. I’ve tried to runaway but I always get caught. I’ve tried to take my life but always get talked out.
My father wasn’t there at my birth and was really never there for me. He moved to Florida when I was ten. I haven’t heard from him since cause my mother won’t let me talk to him.
I’m very anti- social. Only because I just don’t know who I can trust anymore. I’ve had my heart broken so many times. I’ve never had a true bf. I’ve never had a true family. I only have one Bestest friend in the world. My life has gone down hill for quiet sometime now. I wanna move in with my grandma but my mom wont let me. I don’t know what to do besides drugs and drinking. Even religion hasnt done shit! Im screwed over that’s all I know
2 comments
Hey Marissa, my name is Wolf. I’m really sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds extremely difficult. When I was your age (I’m 25 now) I was being sexually abused by my grandfather. I practically lived with him and my grandmother because my parents were working all the time.
I remember feeling so trapped… I wanted to kill him, myself and everyone who didn’t believe me when I told them what was happening. I tried running away but my parents just locked me in my room. I had no friends (still don’t because I don’t trust anyone), no one listened to me… all I could do was find ways to hurt myself.
I have a Dissociative Disorder. I have literally removed myself from my myself. I’m in therapy now and I’m learning to feel again. It’s a very slow process. I’m finally off drugs.
Anyway, you were brave enough to tell everyone here the truth about yourself so I thought i’d do the same for you. I wish you the best of luck in your situation and if you ever need to talk about anything, please feel free and contact me. runfree87@hotmail.com. Stay strong, keep your head up and don’t let the assholes in your world break you. You can make it through this…
you need to find some place of safety from where you can work all this out. The most important thing is to escape an abusive situation. you are young and that is such a big thing to put onto you.
I would approach your grandmother and ask her if you can stay with her and ask her to talk to your mom on your behalf – that way it may take it out of your hands and responsibility.
Safety is the first step – the other things will come. It seems to me that you are trying to speak with your body because words are not working – bloody aweful that no one is listening to you.
he other point I want to make is that things do change – time will pass and things will not be then as they are now.
I wish I could be of more help.