Hi everyone.. I’m new here and i really need to get some stuff off of my chest. Apparently, i’ve been dealing with nothing but family problems. Mostly it’s between me and my mom and I’m tired of it. All the time she yells at me. Mainly, she just verbally abuses me; always she’ll throw my stuff on my bedroom floor and tells me to pick up. Like really? She’s the one who dropped it so why should i? And when i don’t do something right she’ll yell and call me stupid names: idiot, *****, ************, useless child, and so on. My dad thinks that it’s my fault but i don’t do anything but try to make my life better.
Once when my mom was washing the dishes, she blamed me for leaving them unclean. But it was little sister who kept the dishes dirty. So she still kept saying cruel horrible words, but this time she really used the words i though she’ll never use: I wish you were dead! I’ve held in my tears long enough that one night i decided to be alone in the bathroom. My dad, mom, and sis were at the pool, having fun with out me, and i didn’t think except “I want to end my pain” so i grabbed a pair of sharp scissors and started cutting myself. It hurt at first but i gotten used to it.
Sometimes i even think about suicide, to leave and end my pain once and for all… Although mom says “i love you” i know she really doesn’t mean it at all, i see her kissing and hugging my little sis all the time, but she never kissed or even hugged me.. Not once! I just need some friends to help out cause i really need to ease the darkness in my chest.
2 comments
Welcome to the site. We’re one huge family that are always here to up. So how about a biscuit or maybe some brownies. I made them myself.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. But i will tell you cutting will not help. It will only make things worse and make you feel more and more sad. What i can suggest is that you talk to your mom and tell her how you’re feeling. I know you’re going to think that you’re mom won’t understand. But the thing is your mother will if you talk to her. Try to atleast you never know until you don’t try.
I personally think there’s a reason that you’re mom is much stricter and the first is that you’re the older sister. So parents always think that as your older you’re meant to be more responsible. I’m the older one myself i know what it’s like.
If you think it’s a more of a dislike then i doubt it. If your mother did not like you then she would not say that she loves you. She wouldn’t bother at all and ignore you.
As fot the language grown ups can get paranoid easily. Don’t take any of the words they say to heart. They never mean it and especially parents don’t realise how seriously their children take it. I know my mother used to say that to me “to go off and die” or “I wish i never had you” But she mever means it. Tell your mother how you feel about this.
Things will hopefully get better
Take Carex
Not everyone has a mother they can talk to. Your mother doesnt sound safe to talk to. she sounds a little nuts. youre cutting yourself and taking the fault out on yourself. more than ever, you need to take care of yourself in the midst of this abuse and craziness.
Do you have any relative that you could live with where it is safe? – where your parents woud agree to let you stay? Youre right that you need friends now. You need people outside of your house to talk to. Even talking to a counselor at school about what is going on is better than no one at all.