I’m trying really hard, not for you or anyone else, I’m doing it for myself this time and still can’t do it anyway… you know that now I am completely sure that I’m worthless, I can’t be saved. But does it really matter? I’ll answer that for you… NO, but you already knew this.
Days pass, not being able to confront myself, only falling deeper and deeper, my consciousness dims… so many years of loneliness, sadness and fear now are showing their dangers.
How many scars will I let myself to have? How many cuts do I have to make for not feeling this way? How deep can I go until I reach an artery or a vein? How much longer will I hold on before those thoughts tatoo themselves in my mind and kill myself?
I’m broken inside and nobody notices, I try real hard for them not to, and if they do they don’t care…. I know my wounds won’t heal and any who dares, cares, to try to help me will fail in their attempt… I have no fix… so it’s better to throw me in the trash.