“how are you?” I get this pang of sadness.
“Well I’m fine” I wonder why I woke up this morning. I wonder why I bother with any of it.
“Whats on your mind?“ how painful it would be to hang myself.
“Just thinking” I wish I would stop dong that.
“about what?“ Suicide
“nothing much” Why do I feel so depressed?
“how come you don’t want to talk?”cause all I can think of is why I’m not dead yet. Not much of a conversation, huh?
*silence*
“Fine. I’ll leave you alone” yes, please do.
“okay” Another moment and i’d start crying to you about how miserable I feel, so thanks.
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6 comments
Perfect, spot on. Yes.
Except it wouldn’t end like that…
Almost all the converstions have go like that.I pretend to be fine
Almost all the conversations I have go like that*
“How are you” is often just a ritual, the answer is supposed to be “fine”. If you say something different probably that answer will not even be noticed.
Yep. I feel ya. I don’t even answer the phone half the time because I know before they get to the reason they called (they always want or need something) I’ll be like “Sorry…gotta go bye!” because I don’t wanna go off. I find it makes even people who are supposed to be close to you very uncomfortable, especially when they can’t fix anything or don’t care to.