feel like i can be open without judgement on here.

I know how you feel, but hey!!, you are young still, I think you can do better if you stop punishing yourself, I mean if you keep on doing drugs and alcohol you will be just someone like your mum… I’m pretty sure you don’t deserve that… Go to school, try to get out of the environment where you grew up… you are paying for your parents mistakes and that is not fair, but if you don’t treat yourself with more respect things will get even worst. I grew in the worst family ever we were 7 brothers and sisters, I was the third kid, I promised myself I would never be like my mum. I overcame poverty, violence, and I helped my family out. I went to college and I managed to go to another country. I never used drugs or alcohol but one of my sisters did… She had 2 kids, one of them is dying from brain cancer caused for all the drugs she took while she was pregnant and cuz she tried to had an abortion which didn’t work out… My mum fucked us up very badly but what my sister did was even worst (drugs make everything worst for people like us). Honestly if you try things could get better. I never had a bad relationship, I did well with money, I had awesome friends and lots of fun… You may ask why am I here: the reason is my niece… the fact that she is dying in such a horrible way is destroying me, plus I had the perfect life in another country and 3 months ago I lost everything I cared for… I had a horrible childhood and a really tough life, but I had so much happiness and love… sometimes life it is good, but if you kill yourself in such a young age you won’t ever know….