she is mad because she can’t control me, she gets with guys to control them and when they break up with her she tries to go to Church to control that!
If you’ve followed my posts you would know exactly the type of person she is.
She lies about everythin . She brainwashed me into running away from my grandma and running away from CPS only to call on me to get me intoruble. But I kept coming back thinking what she said was the truth , that she wanted to be a mother for once. Ever since I ran away to be with my mom, she has been trying to control me as if she actually took care of me, like I was her minion for all her dirty deeds. She only wants me around to meet her new boyfriends to make herself look good and to make her boyfriends or anyone around her think she’s such a good mother, when in reality she was never there for me ! She is the reason why I have PTSD! The reason why I have trust issues. I put my faith in her only to have her crush me and try to use the fact that I am a runaway for her own selfish advantage. . no more, no more letting her have control!
I just turned 18 and no longer a runaway, I live with my grandpa. And she is still trying to control me, but not anymore! I am better then that! I wont let a person who was a prostitute, and allowed me to be moleted , try to control me now after almost 10 YEARS OF HER NOT BEING IN MY LIFE! , She has no Job. Nothing . but yet she feels entitled and need to try to act like a mother now, when just a month ago she had nothing to do with me.
Just right now she came in yelling because I wouldn’t Feed my 1month old Kitten human food (she fed him a hotdog and he threw it up) I told her leave my Cat alone, that he has his own cat food. But she is trying to say I’m starving him, I told her to leave me alone that this is my kitten not hers, that I won’t allow her to control me anymore. . She started yelling at me screaming saying she never wanted me that I was a mistake that she wanted to kill me when she found out she was pregnant with me. she almost hit me but luckily my boyfriend pulled her back! I cant take this pain anymore that this woman has caused, I’m broken because of her! All i ever wanted was a family. Why was i cursed with a mother like her?
So I’m now in my room holding my Kitten Crying , wishing I was dead and Reunited with my child I Lost Due to A misscarriage from stress…. I want to die , but I don’t cut anymore, im stronger then that! but at this moment, crying and alone.. I’m very tempted. I’m about to Take some nerve calming Pills but im trying not to because I’m against taking any medication because I don’t want to be like her! These thoughts in my head are running so fast, memories and all. I Really want to die .!
I just Locked the door and now she is trying to Break it down. If only I would have died when she got pregnant with me, she is the one who spread her legs and had me ! I Didn’t ask to be born. My whole life is fucked up cause of her and she still is fucking it up.
5 comments
dont do it shes not worth it u will be giving her what she wants live ur life and be diffrent then her out of spite and show her ur not like her
Omg, you poor thing. I am so sorry you have to go through that. That is so horrible. Your mom, does not mean what she says. She is hurting inside, deeply. Just like you are. Nothing will resolve themselves, unless you go and get therapy or maybe go in hospital for a bit and get help for yourself first. She has a rough past too. Sounds to me she has a lot of things to work on like you. But you cannot change someone. You can try and talk to them, and do what you can. Try sitting down with her and talking to her. Tell her you love her, and you’re here for her. Sometimes you have to do things even when it’s hard, or impossible to do. She probably didn’t have support back then. After all it was very hard back then than it is right now. Try and talk calmly to her, even though she is yelling and stuff. If not, just call the police, and and see if you can not find a away to get some help through them. They will take you to the hospital and have you admitted(which is good, because you need help) But suicide will NOT solve a thing. It might make your mom follow right behind in your foot steps and that is not good. Your mom is struggling(and has been) just like you are. She dates guys thinking it will make the pain go away, which is won’t. Why don’t you cuddle and talk with your boyfriend, and see what he thinks too. You can’t do this alone. Your option is to go seek help. Professionals are all around. I hope you have insurance. Either way, you will find something fair enough.
thats horrible 🙁 you are worth so much more than that though and you have come so far! you said you have a scholarship? thats AMAZING – !! people must think you have great talents and they obviously want to see you shine through school – they only hand scholarships out to people who they think have a UNIQUE ability and are SMART – you are so brave !!!!!!!! Try and talk to your boyfriend – he sounds supportive?? can you see someone?? if not keep writing on here !! You sound like u have gone through alot – and are a strong person – a hard worth ethic :)!!!
you WILL SHINE and this will be in the past 🙂
You had a rough upbringing. A friend of mine sent me an email. He’s a sucker for ‘get yourself out on your own’ quotes so he sent me one from James Allen “circumstance doesn’t make the man, it reveals him to himself”. James Allen had a troubled life and had to show great resolve to keep going.
you are like a sad “lifetime” movie. We are all hoping you have the nice happy ending that YOU DESERVE!!!
Hope you hang in there. You seem like a really amazing person and I am rooting 4 ya.