im going to die. not in the metaphorical “eventually†sense but in the immediate future sense unless theese fucking doctors can figure out whats wrong with me. so basically im SOL. if anyone has anything to say to me, say it soon. there’s a good chance i wont be able to read it later
July 2012
Only so much I can take… I thought I was getting better but my sister had a blow up the other day… She told me I’ll regret it when she kills herself. She’s 12. I dont even know how the argument started… all I knew was I heard she was walking away in the woods so I ran out the door to get her… Now my moms worried about her. If she found out I think those things to? Im so tired… I keep wanting to hurt myself but idk how to get away with it….im so messed up.
im alone. im depressed. im drunk again. another lonely night ruminating about how much of a fuck up i am
This is my first entry on this site; so, instead of giving an elongated sob story about how much my life sucks and appears to be in the sh*tter, I figured I’d give it a different spin to, hopefully inspire those who feel they’ve hit rock bottom. However, I won’t do the complete opposite by telling people to suck it up and take it like a man because I feel everyone has trials and tribulations of varying degrees that I cannot entirely comprehend or judge. Ultimately, we’re all different, and the one thing people on this site have in common that I wholeheartedly […]
For awhile now I’ve been “Ready to die” so to speak… I haven’t been able to think of a full proof way to end it yet but my mind is constantly thinking of new options, none of which will actually work. I have 2 in mind, but they are both extremely difficult to achieve, and 1 of them doesn’t have a very high probability of success.
I don’t think my depression is curable and ending it would be a permanent solution to a permanent problem. I can’t suffer the humiliation, shame, regret, loneliness, pain, and sadness any longer. I feel as if my very existence is […]
I don’t even know if you could call me suicidal. I’ve never actually attempted it, but I have thoughts about killing myself so often. I’ve had an eating disorder for over a year, and over the past few months, I’ve started cutting. I feel depressed all the time now. I’m just never happy anymore, I make excuses so I don’t have to go out, and see people, I lie to my therapist, she thinks I’m getting better, when in reality, I have never felt more depressed in my life than I do right now. I have fantasies about slitting my wrists, or jumping in front […]
I’ve had suicidal thoughts before, but I’ve always turned to my faith in God and he has brought me out of it. Just recently, a girl who I love so very much, more so than any relationship I have been in before, left me for another man. I have nothing, I would have done anything for her. I did my usual coping methods, drowning out my sorrow with loud music, getting rid of my anger with violent video games, and even turning to God again. Yet this time, when I turned to him, I didnt feel anything. I’ve never questioned my faith before, but now […]
First let me say I practice remaining silent regarding my problem with suicide.
I have a psychiatrist and a psychologist. Both of them know why I attempted
suicide last year. The thing that I hate is I still feel suicidal. It doesn’t go
away. My suicide attempt last year was an overdose of Flurazapam and Tylenol. I
woke up two days later with a tube in my throat. The ICU report says I was in
critical condition. I’m 57 tears old. I have 5 children and 7 grandchildren. I’m
recently divorced. My credit is ruined and I’m hopelessly in debt. I’m a
teacher. I make […]
Hello.
I left for a while thinking it would make me feel better. It didn’t. I managed to lose all of my (few) friends recently. All completely my fault. Nights are extremely hard. I can’t get away from myself, I have no one to confide in, and I figured out a few depressing things about myself. Enough to keep me up at night.
On the bright side, I lost forty pounds in something like 7 weeks. Probably a bit unhealthy, but I really don’t give a shit.
I’m fully prepared for suicide, and will do so without fail when the time comes. I guess I’m just […]
somebody please talk me out of killing myself tonight. im sitting in front of my pills ready to o.d for the second time, only this time i know exactly how much i need to take to die. please nobody say “oh the world needs you, youre beautiful and unique and special”. because no im not. not at all. im caucassian. there are billions. i can sing. so can thousands. i have nothing to offer the world. everyone who knows me knows that. so without the cliches, PLEASE somebody talk me out of this…..
Have a good one,
Danny
im going to kill myself tonight. im just finished. i cant cope anymore. too much has gone wrong for too long and my body and mind are so tired. i cant deal with being sad and cutting all the time anymore. i need relief. i need to feel at peace again, and the only way to get that release is death. nobody can convince me otherwise. and i dont want people saying im selfish either, because guess what i dont have anyone that loves me anymore and i certainly wont be missed. i dont want that “youre special and unique” BULLSHIT either. cuuuuuz guess what, no im not! billions […]
I am a person who has destoyed so many people throughout my adult life. I met my husband and he was married at the time, I got pregnant. He did not have a good marriage, or so I was told. He left his family for me, and we had our baby.  He still had his family, and his children came around at first, but that ended rather quickly. So we had another baby a year and a half later, and we had our family. His parents did not want anything to do with us, which I completely understood. I was hurt, because I was lied […]
My son ,my only son decided he was just too tired and left me and his father in a very dark abyss.
This is all very fresh and I fear it will be that way for the re,mainder of our days.He left us in April of this year
and I haven’t once stopped trying to find answers or insight as to what now? I have managed to get my hands on some very good reading material but I really wish I could get a grip on this.I recently found this web site and I have to say It has helped me not to be afraid of life. […]
Well, this migh be a long read, but I’ve got to put this somewhere.
I’m 19. All this started as recently as 4 months ago, when my girlfriend of 4 1/4 years left me. She’s at university this year, I’m taking a gap year- but we were in the same year at school etc, and there’s only 3 months separating us in age. She is the single most perfect human being in the world- beautiful, funny, really intelligent. You name it, she’s got it. Everything was going so well for us, or so I thought- I’m going to the same uni as her starting in September, […]
I just… don’t have any reason to be alive anymore. I can’t take being this lonely another year, and my situation won’t change unless i change, but I haven’t changed in 32 years, so it’s clearly not going to happen. I can’t even fake it anymore. My one friend came over for my birthday and I just shut down mid-afternoon. I don’t have anything left to say to anyone, or anything to contribute. I’m not a very good person, at heart, so I don’t give anything. back to anyone, just take, take, take. I tried to say I am really depressed, but I’ve had cyclical […]
I feel so paranoid lately. I dont know why. I feel like something bad is going to happen. The other day i was freakign out because i thought i was on a boat and we were all going to drown. then the day of the colorado shooting i went to the movies and i was so scared and paranoid that the theater was going to fill up with water and that we would all drown. I was so nervouse the whole movie. I dont know how i didnt run out of the theater and outside and start hyperventilating. I am so paranoid lately. I feel […]
I am writing again here since some weeks off, it seems so far away those thoughts I used to have as I read them again. There are so many things I can´t comprehend about the world and myself, but one thing I do know for sure is that those thoughts, even though they seem distant, they are so much closer, they are in my mind to stay for the rest of my life, it doesn’t matter what happens.
As far as I know those thoughts are the real me.
wells, idk what to call today, good or bad? its a cross. yeah but more lows then highs unfortunately. i have a weird feeling to cut, i cant, gotta be strong. its been 3 weeks why break? idk i thought i was doing so well. i was wrong. i fake it too well. now here i am falling apart. im becoming me. and its showing. my wall is tearing down. im becoming uncovered. idk what i want, god im crazy. im so messed up. im losin it. ugh why? me? ugh. sad? lonely? happy? together? mad? slow? fast? nice? a *****? idk what i am. […]
i used to hang on his every word …. he was there for me when i need someone to talk to..when i just needed to have fun and forget get out and leave reality behind even if it wasnt forever … he called me his girl and i thought he was the onky who did want to hurt me….but he did and when i asked why he said “it wasnt the riight words but i didnt care to fix it” that shattered me and that night i fell apart i locked my bedroom door and cried myself to sleep trasing the fresh cuts..