Tonight is the night my dreams come true. If I cannot have the woman I love, I cannot have anything. My plan no longer matters. I have a rough combination and can handle the pain, cause nothing, and I do mean NOTHING, can rival the pain she has put me through the last year. And still I love her with all my mind, body, heart and soul. This will obviously be my final posting. Mythological creatures don’t die, right? They live on forever. This Siren is about to disprove that mythological belief. I just can’t do it anymore. Not even time for the Siren’s final […]
July 2012
I sit alone in my dark corner, my insides are dead and my eyes are cold.
My eyes are flat as my sight turn to my companion, so shiny, so sharp, only one of many weapons I use to slice my wrists into shreds.
My companion’s name: ‘razor blade’
I wrap my wrists in the sleeves of my jacket.
Voices around me scream my name as I lift the barrel to my head, I place my finger on the trigger and close my eyes.
I drown out the screams to stop,My heart stops beating and I fall to the ground.
The gun falls to the ground away from me barrel still […]
I would just love to have some one hold my hand and come with me..
seriously i don’t want to go on any more. i just don’t know how to do it. pills seem like not really a method with a high succeed rate. i don’t have ways to get a gun or anything like that. i thought about jumping from a building, but i could never do that head first. hanging is a no go because suffocating is a trauma of mine, i am sure i couldn’t go through with it. then i thought about jumping before i train, but i feel its a really egoistic act because of the trauma you will cause the driver, also thought about […]
All my life all I have ever wanted to do was fit in and make friends but for some reason it just could never happen. I apparently scare people with my looks. I naturally look angry but anyone who talks to me more then 5 minutes knows that I am not angry. Lately I have been sad and angry. I got my 1st kiss a few days ago but it was nothing.  There is a girl who is like my cousin but she is not (Uncle married her mom, they got divorced.) and I made a bet with her.  I won the bet and she kissed […]
I just cant make it stop. The thoughts are flooding my mind and I cant identify real from unreal. The meds arent working and I want to dissapear. Im numb and want to feel pain.
Where words are used to make others feel like shit and break people’s spirits. Where actions are used to break people’s bones. Where people use others to make themselves feel better and get better things.Â
Where people have a materialistic view on everything. When someone acts different, then they are looked down upon. Society is fucked up. Why do we keep on trying to thrive? We cause others to feel more pain than pleasure. So much so that they can’t ever recover.Â
Why do we think that having someone living is much better than freedom through death? The basis of a democracy is to let people do […]
slow as fuck browser…meeh well my voices wont shut the…..-sigh- so bored…nobodys answering me and im so messed up today…im in need of help but i dont want to bring anything up to my parents…ill probs just cut and cry over it like always…
-99%~♪±
Right about now I am itching to cut myself because I am so sick and tired of my life.. I hate it to the point where all I want to do is cut the deepest I can…… But you never know what thoughts are able to do until it has happened.. I wannna take that sharp object and slice as far as I can take it. Wouldn’t that be a thrill.
I really hate school its a pain, i thought this is the part in my life i want to continue ,but i dont no anymore am starting to think this is what everyone else wants from me. I want to do art an from what i have heard from the people around me am good at it, i just wish that it could be my career its an easy way to bleed my emotions dry an trust me i have alot of emotions. I could say todays a pretty normal day but these days am not in the mood to tlk to anyone, the […]
When I was 13, me and my parents have moved from our native country to another. It’s been now 5 years and I hate it, day by day things get worse.
I should be happy, because life here is so much easier than it is in my native country. Here I can afford things, many people can only dream of at my age. I have all the gadgets I ever wanted, but still, I’m not happy. People who say money give happiness are stupid, money does make life easier, but doesn’t give happiness.
For the last five years all I did was playing games, and surfing web. […]
hey there,
this is just a little text I wrote, thoughts that were in my mind today,
In the last time I started to dislike other people, or at least my antipathy against humans got stronger. I am feeling like there is no one out there who is worthy to know. People around me are so unsteady, today one of my colleagues decided to study something else, because she didn’t passed the math exam. So another human being left my life although I barely had anything to do with her. I can’t see a reason to spend time with others. Of course there are a few guys […]
i can’t take it im slowly dying every day it’s too much how can i wake up in this nightmare everyday? my soul is screaming but my voice is quiet no one fucking cares anyway it’s not like the universe wants me here… it doesn’t matter i’ve lost what kept me going now idk how long i can go… i cried over my ex for the first time in satan knows how long i don’t know how i can still love her. i see no point to keep on going i’m just done i can’t find whatever it is i’m looking for. just want it […]
Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the very last breath you take. I suppose after that your heart stops then a few seconds later your brain stops functioning. I dont know why I posted this thought but it keeps running over and over through my mind. I wonder if a lot of fear is associated with that last breath or if at the final split second before you slip into unconsciousness you feel a sense of release and peacefulness? I suppose it may have something to do with they way you go. If you jump off a building that last microsecond must be a […]
Just wondering where they have all got to
I want to disappear. To end it all.
Suicide is always somewhere in my mind. I thought of many ways: Hanging, Stabbing my self and Jumping. And 2 years ago I almost jumped off a bridge. But I couldn’t. I was afraid. Afraid of dying. Afraid of hurting the people that care about me. Â But most of all afraid that noone would remember me.
Everything keeps getting worse, Rumours of things i’ve never done. People distancing themselves from me. People calling names, throwing stuff, bullying me. It gets worse everyday. And no one helps me or is it no one cares. My mind has been set now, […]
Well I think its time to tell people why I cut and why I think I’m depressed.
It starts off like all the rest, happy family, with money, love ect..
When I was about four years of age I was working in the farm with my daddy and my sixteen year old cousin, my dad left to get some food for the cattle, I was sitting on a lump of hay. My cousin comes up to me and starts fingering me. It was not a good experience for me and I couldn’t get him to stop. I think he would have gone a lot further […]
So here’s my story:
I fell deeply in love with an incredible, sweet, funny, and very tech smart man… but he was also very depressed and had been for years before I even met him. We were very serious and planned to get married.
Then he killed himself.
He had talked about suicide before and I had tried very hard to help him. I had no idea he was about to swallow a whole bottle of pail killers..
after that I was an emotional train wreck and even tried to kill myself once, but I woke up in a hospital and was sent to a […]
I keep seeing such horrible images, be they in daydreams or nightmares. Myself, bleeding in a pool of blood. A shot to my head, my body limp on the pavement. An empty funeral home with my body set for all to see, and none to look. I cannot escape this feeling, this notion that I will leave this world alone. Lost in the turning seas of my inadequacies. I keep seeing macabre visions, destitute prospects, a shady future. The grave calls, and death seems imminent.
Maybe I’m not alive at all. Somehow, somewhere, I feel like part of me is long gone. Like the best and […]