People have called me selfish for feeling suicidal but really I am far from it. I have just thought about it and when I die I would like my donate my body to help other people who need the help. I have done pretty pathetic things in my time in order to lets say “make up” for things I fail at in life. I sleep with a dumbell or my little dog in order to make up for that loneliness I feel in my heart. My dog though is one of the things that keeps me alive. To see her little tail wagging when she sees me makes me feel good inside.  Some of the other things i do to make up for the things I fail at are so terrible that I keep them secret all the way to my grave. People have for some reason thought bad of me. Why? I don’t know. I was accused of molesting my adorable oldest niece and I when I was accused was in a state of shock and sadness. Is that really what people think of me? People have said I’m creepy and I look like a pedophile. For what? I do absolutely nothing but try to get along with people and make friends but I   fail at it. I can’t help that the almighty one cursed me with these dreaded looks. Honestly people call me ugly like if I don’t know it already. People expect me to be a criminal. They expect me to be mean. They expect me to be a monster. People say “Let out your anger” and “It is better to let it out then to bottle it up.”. Let me tell you if I let out my anger in full I would be in jail now.  Life has singled me out. I didn’t ask for things to be this way but they ended up this way.  I remember in an episode of House  Dr.House said “Almost dying changes nothing, ACTUALLY dying changes everything.I  will not die being singled out by life. I will die singling MYSELF out of life.  I want my mom to see me dead not to really hurt her but so she could get  her goodbyes. I want her to be the ONLY one in my family to see my body. No one else in my family has earned that right. Never cared about me in life so why should death change any of it?
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TheUglyOne You have no idea how many times people have said i look like a criminal or pedophile walking down the street or in school. im 6’1 190lb unkept beard and a horrible mean and ugly face even when i was in high school everyone always said i looked like a serial killer. People are usually quite surprised when they begin talking to me and discover that im as shy and timid as can be.
You’re definitely not selfish for contemplating suicide, no one asks for the lives they’ve been given we’re all just here; dropped off in a world we don’t understand. Some people get dealt a bad hand, but it isn’t selfishness.
One more thing. There are ways to let out your anger without hurting people you know. Personally when i’m angry i workout, it’s the best time since my lifts are helped along by my rage. You could excercise or vent to someone scream in a pillow. letting the fire inside you out doesn’t necessarily mean casting it onto others.
People instinctively judge on looks initially, but anyone worth having in your life will look past what’s on the outside. Who’s calling the shots on what’s attractive anyway? Everyone who makes a conscious effort to be social, has friends. I will admit that life is easier for those who are commercially attractive, but the one’s who aren’t usually compensate in other ways to live a life that is just as successful, if not more so.
Fact: Women are more likely to tip waitresses more than waiters. Fact: Men are more likely to tip waitresses more than waiters. The next time you go to a restaurant, pay attention to the wait staff. The waiters generally try much harder to please the customers and the good ones, make better money than their female counterparts. This goes against the natural instinct of the customers, but the waiters have learned to adapt to providing better service to compensate.
I’m not being sexist. I will have to dig up my sources, but I will provide them to you. The point I’m trying to make is that you may have to try a little harder to get the approval of people that you want, but in the end you will have a blossoming personality that people won’t be able to resist.