all I’m sure of is non-existence is the best.
It’s so hard to keep going 🙁 I suddenly feel like crying. I wish my brother would die. Then I could go do whatever the fuck I want guilt free. Instead, I work a job I hate everyday, sharing oxygen with people that disgust me, just so he can survive. Our mother is fucking useless; I wish the both of them would die. She’s a fucking whore, a stupid fucking whore that keeps having kids cause she’s too dumb to keep her legs closed. fuck, I hate all of them. Not just my mother, but her mother, and her mothers mother. They’re all fucking useless.
no more, fuck them. I’m 26 and I’m free thinking. they don’t have to die, but I don’t have to deal with them anymore. I’m as miserable as ever and it’s because I feel like I have to take care of them. No more… no no no more.
I’m shuffling about at this stupid job in a complete funk, hating myself for continuing on with this crap. I don’t have to do this though. Fuck my brother, honestly. He’s just another monkey and we’re only tied together by our stupid whore of a mother. I can’t remember the last time I felt genuinely happy, free of restrictions. fuuuuck, I don’t need this. I’m wasting my carbon based life on shit that doesn’t matter. No more, no more; fuck everyone who wants to slow me down. no more leeches.
4 comments
i know this feeling , my brother is a fooking idiot , he is 14 years older than me and has just moved back home with my parents he is 48 ….. what a arse hole ! now he is spongeing off me dad who has just retired , what an parasite he is , thats why your much better off on your own , find some body to love and fuck the world , fuck every body else even if they are you family , just because you have the same DNA dont mean shit , they just organ donors, but saying that if ya needed one you would be better off waiting for some body else……..
leeches + parasites
we can all do with out these !
chin up !
head high !
fuck em all
Yeah, I just feel like dieN, Would be so nice..
tphg – join the Secret Society of Voluntary Orphans, which might just be here at SP for all I know. Lots of people here would find much to relate to in your post, me included. My partner’s cut off all contact with his frightful lot, after a lifetime of abuse and neglect at their hands.
I often feel like doing the same with the possible exception of my mother, tho’ even that’s a huge strain on me at times. The only one I can’t afford to lose would be my son. As I’m responsible, at least partly, for bringing him into this world, I owe it to him to be ‘there’ for me for as long as he needs me (or possibly, until he comes to feel the same way about me as I do my Mum!!) I once heard someone refer to blood family as ‘DNA-alikes’, which I quite liked.
Mind you my friends are draining too, a lot of the time. Some I would like to ditch completely, but (so far) am too chicken to tell them outright.
Thank Heaven for my partner, who is my one and only kindred spirit, and I only found him when I was 48!! Other than that, I prefer animals to people.
Zoe x
You should read my entry titled “revelation”. I believe it explains a lot. I listed a few references of my information, but would be glad to offer more if you ask. You seem to be of above average intelligence. Albert Einstein, Nikolas Shreck and Nikoli Tesla all did poorly in adjusting to mainstream society. We are all made of fourteen trillion year old carbon, so don’t worry about the time you’ve wasted. Also, if you learn from your mistakes, they are not mistakes they are experimentation or personal growth.