So, I’m sitting here waiting (it seems I do an awful lot of waiting these days) for a ride so that I can hopefully get to my so -called “parenting class”. Have you ever been to one of these classes? They’re a total waste of time, and just another way for the state to keep your kids longer. I mean, really, who the hell needs someone to tell them how to take out the trash every day or remind them that babies can’t be brats? Are we really not evolved enough yet to understand that children are generally unable to be mean until the age of about four? Seriously? We need a class for this?
If the state really wanted to help my family, how about this instead? Help me find a decent place to live that I can afford. Help me find a job that will pay me what I’m worth. Â How about just help me get a loan so I can get a car? I can pay it off myself! Or, hey, how’s this? Why not go after the bastard who kept me locked in the house for two years and forced me to give birth to a child I wasn’t even capable of taking care of? How about a little REAL help? Gosh, no, can’t do any of that! But, hey, here ya go, take these helpful classes!
I get to go talk to a therapist tomorrow, too. Yeah. A “mental health assessment,” they’re calling it. My husband already did his, and he says it was really a million questions about drug and alcohol use, stress levels, etc. Neither of us use drugs. We don’t drink. Until a year ago, we had a reasonably good grip on our stress. Why do I feel like this “assessment” is just another way to dig for dirt because they can’t find anything else?
I’m intelligent enough to bullshit my way through the “assessment” without giving a hint that I’m depressed. If I ever do go see a shrink, it will be MY choice, not their’s. I have enough issues to deal with already without being prescribed drugs that will make me feel like a zombie, thank you very much. I’d rather fight and claw my way through my problems on my own, and actually FIX my life instead of just numbing the pain.
Just one thing after another….
You know what really sucks? A good 80% of my problems could be solved for less than ten thousand bucks. That’s such a paltry amount. By my calculations, the state has already spent twice that screwing us over in the name of “helping” my family. Somehow, shit like this makes me want to take out a big ad in the newspaper and just blab to the whole world how screwed up the family court system really is. Of course, I can’t even afford to do that, lol.
14 comments
The state/government choose to use their resources (our money) in many wasteful ways. Yearly prison incarnation for an inmate is 90k, despite however petty the charges, but a good college education is around 50k a year. so prison… yes. Cheaper education for the public (good for our society on a whole)? NO. Its funny. I hope you are able to regain custody of your kid/s as soon a they see that u are “fit”: whatever that means.
Yep. Its good to know some people have some common sense, clarity. I just really wish more people did, lol.
My best friend says the reason people like us get so depressed and suicidal is because we see reality, and reality is a dismal thing to see. I think she may be right.
We live in a culture defined by our seeming inability to look at problems honestly and address them directly. Every single political endeavor these days seem to revolve around the problem, rather than actually doing anything useful to address it; we do the same thing in the marketplace, as well. It’s the instant gratification factor, I think, and the more complex the non-solutions get, the further away actual gratification becomes. We want band-aids to fix people, and not the problems in society that cause people to need fixing in the first place.
But the problem is, it has a settled foundation and it isn’t easy to solve the puzzle. Just keep at it and remind yourself of what the point of it is – your family. I really hope the best for you here – I know it’s not easy.
The cost Is not as high as 50k a year for education and 90k a year to sustain the prison population in the UK. What you say in principle is correct.
You have to realise that no one really cares about making the world a better place. People are out to get what they can.
who is ” fit” really to be parents? 99% of people/parents that i have seen is not fit 100% of the time. IDK your whole story but people can/will base a small moment person interaction with their child a make a judgement on mom & child entire relationship, which is totally wrong. i love my mom but GOD knows that if social services walked in on her while she was disciplining me as a child I wouldn’t have been with her much longer after that, despite the fact that she’s a good mom most of the time.
everyone makes mistake and everyone should get a second or third chance
And never mind who gets screwed in the process….
I used to try to make the world a little better, Duke. All it did was get me ran over. Unless you somehow make yourself a celebrity by way of charity (aka Mother Theresa), that’s usually what happens.
I am not sure how old you are or how many and what ages your children are. But I can identify with you as a single parent with a crappy spouse. Parenting classes will not teach you any real survival skills just patience and coping kind of stuff which has a use even though you may not realize it now. The world doesn’t care and this is not a world of conscience. All I can tell you is that when things get tough that’s the time to get mean and down right dogged and determined. These are the times that test your spirit. You can either give up and turn your child over to the state and minimize your losses or you can find some self help like at charities or state and federally funded programs like WICK or some training to enhance your skill sets and affordable housing programs like HOC. Better job opportunities would be a blessing but the way the world is going that will be slow in coming. Remember there is no rest for the wicked and the good don’t need none.
You are not alone in your troubles. I raised my 2 kids by myself I just try to do the best I can and it will be tough and it gets tougher as they get older. I really believe that in order to raise kids as a single parent requires a great deal internal grit you will either have it or not only you will know.
Sympathetic
DogBoy
DogBoy, my husband is a saint, lol. Seriously, he has to be. It was my ex who kept me locked up and tortured me. Long story, anyway. But I do appreciate the thought.
The funny thing is, we’ve applied for all these programs, but we just miss the cutoff for approval. We can’t even get food stamps. Its ridiculous, because we’re not even able to pay rent on time, but…meh. Whaddya do? Keep grinding away, I guess.
just read “I can’t take anymore” u posted on July 18th……….let me say I sorry for how life has treated u. I wish I had a better response or advise for the stuff u experienced
It sucks!! I know how you feel, poverty is like a life sentence, but the fucking government doesn’t five a shit! They won’t ever do anything right to address poverty and social unfairness issues. Everywhere in the world millions of dollars are spending on create more poor people, all the system is full of bullshit! My niece was Born with brain cancer, we needed 80thousand to save her life, we couldn’t gather the money and she will die, I seek for help everywhere nobody care. I hate the system, I hate the rich but overall I hate the government, they use us like slaves, our lives mean nothing to them, if we were death or still alive they don’t care. Good luck with everything! To deal with government employees is like to deal with satan, most of then are mean and their job is to screw people over.
Bad things happen to bad people too. The Duke’s curse is infamous.
Oh, clarity! Lol…My kids were taken by the state because we were homeschooling and became homeless and lost paperwork! Then they threw in medical neglect because we couldn’t prove otherwise (weirdly enough, the kids’ medical records are STILL “lost.” But that doesn’t get US off the hook-oh, noes, not by a long shot!). Never mind that my daughter was able to skip two grade levels because of homeschooling, or that I’d taught my autistic & non-verbal son to read, write, communicate, do math, play piano…none of that matters. Never mind that the kids are healthy, or that every “expert” we’ve seen so far thinks the judge was on crack when he took our kids. I can’t say we’ve been perfect, but we sure as hell aren’t evil monsters who deserve to be treated like we have been, either.
My story is on here, & its pretty messed up.
My mom actually went through the same crap with me when I was a kid. Home-schooled until 8th grade, yessir. I remember one fiasco where the state claimed my sister and I didn’t exist because of “lost paperwork,” and the solution had something to do with acquiring library cards or some dumb nonsense like that.
It’s all a can of stupid fried up with a side of absurd. The whole system needs an overhaul.
At the same time when the state doesn’t react by removing children from a dangerous environment it is criticised.
Each case has to be dealt with on an individual basis. Taking away someones child is the most fundamental breach of a persons human right. People don’t always make the right decisions.
There are a lot of jobs I could do better than the people in those jobs. That’s not a boast, I’m substantially better than them but if I applied I would not necessarily get those jobs. Although it’s frustrating you have to accept it. Most of these people are just jobsworths that don’t really have a level of understanding to comprehend let alone compassion to see how they affect peoples lives. They get paid regardless. One r
We have to accept that this issue might have been of little concern to us if the boot was on the other foot. not me though, I’ve been an idiot my whole life and don’t envisage and improvement.