I’m no longer daddy’s little girl. The princess of his castle. There is no wonder left, no stories of wonderful lands and castles in far away places. Just the terrifying nightmares that haunt me in my sleep. The ones of innocence taken away, the ones of betrayal. Daddy stars in my nightmare and this time he brought friends. Because I have no hope of being successful there’s only one thing I’m good for now.
I stand lost in my nightmare with pain and sadness. I see myself shatter time and time again. And then suddenly I’ve had enough i can take no more pain. I don’t want to feel anymore so I push it all away. I’m numb now, can’t feel a thing. It’s the closest thing to peace I’ve had in a long time. And damn does it feel great.
But then I come to and realize it isn’t a dream. I’m lying in the darkness of my room. A place I once thought was mine where no one could touch me. I feel used, sore, and dirty all over but then again I don’t really feel anything I’m still numb. So I carry myself to the bathroom where i look at the person in the mirror. I can’t believe this person is me. No sparks in her eyes no emotion at all. Black and blue coated i”m now daddy’s new work of art. I’m finally truely broken and maybe it’s time to go because there really is no point in trying so hard to fool everyone anymore.
I survived this long at it was for me but now i’ve shut down. Shows over there’s nothing left to see. Truth is life isn’t all princesses and castles. It’s monsters and demons ones that will always stay. For now they can’t be defeated so the princess hides away.
29 comments
you have a great talent for writing, I’m sorry its about something terrible you have gone through but you have a great gift i think you could really go places with. chin up 🙂
Thank you! That truely does mean alot. More than you can imagine acctually. 🙂
Beautiful Restrictingheart. Sad of course. But I like sad things. What do you think I’m doing here, lol.
Were you abused by your Dad then? Me too babe. Tho’ probably not as seriously as you.
I second sadhappy. There’s evidence of a burgeoning talent there.
You deserve many more glowing comments, but it’s quality, not quantity right? lol.
Bless you. Zx
Lol What are you doing here are you a spy? Yu’re kinda like the sites fairy God mother you don’t grant wishes but hey the magic’s all in the words! 🙂
Yeah you guessed right he does but as sad as it is I’m kind used to it by now. And don’t say not as bad as me. That’s not the point any kind of abuse scars a persons life forever it doesn’t matter how bad it was because to that person it is always bad 🙁
And thanx for the compliment that acctually might be what i want to do in college. I have a way with words just not people.
Quality it is Zoe quality it is. I might not have gotten that many comments but I wasn’t really looking for any. Besides if I had read my own post I’d be to shocked and sad to know what to write. So for now let people read. I don’t need responses just readers who understand. 🙂
well I think stories like this scare the comments away because honestly what can anyone say? and yea restrcting you have a way with words. We already knew that from your reading your comments though 🙂
Awww well aren’t you just sweet. <3 Thank new friend.
Lol btw my house is freakishly creepy when no one is home. Y do i have no many objects that look like axe murderers in the dark?!
lol well since you were talking about princesses and castles…now I am imagining you living in some big old medieval castle with suits or armor lining the hallways holding giant war axes 🙂
of course you could always just turn the lights on
LOL that would be amazing I’s be the adorable princess that made the Knights protect me! And giant war axes are the bomb duh!
And I did turn the lights on but they are really dull and there are no windows. Lol it’s like the dungeon just a few lonely lanterns with a flame! 🙂
haha yea they could protect you from all the axe murderers lurking at the edges of the dull little lights. While you watch your scary horror movies all day.
That sounds pretty damn cool to me just sayin. Imagine… FACEBOOK UPLOAD!! Me and the BFF’s ….these big giant metal covered guys holding axes and little me not even half their size! LOL priceless!
@restrictingheart – wow. First of all, your writing is amazing. Second of all, how old are you? If you’re old enough move out or run away. Don’t let one soul ruin your life. If you need to talk I’m always here <3
Take care <3
lol yea then you would never get any dates! haha battle axes bigger then you are 🙂
Psh please who needs a whimpy boy with mommy’s old minnivan when i’ve got giant knights with battle axes who could march me anywhere i would like to go! Gosh men understand nothing on how a girl’s mind works 😉
well isn’t that the truth we never have we never will lol
but what if the wimpy boy snuck out with his dad’s porsche instead of the old minivan?!
Eh one date wouldn’t hurt 😉
Thanx. I’m 17 but there are a bunch of complications with the state and medical stuff. If i ran away i could never really do anything with my life. But thank you for your support it is good to know it’s out there 🙂
hah yea he would probably need the fast car to make his getaway from those knights, they better not scratch the paint with those axes though or his dad will kill him! but then that might be why you would only get the one date 🙂
To be in his car! Why else would i go out w/ him? Besides I’m not one for relationships. lol i’m kidding i’not a materialistic *****. Besides whimpy nerds are sweet 🙂
haha yea but you would probably never see him again after your knights mess up the car. first he was whimpy now nerdy, what kind of princess are you I thought you all never settled for anything less then prince charming
There is no such thing as prince charming. There is only the perfect one for you. So I guess mine would have to be broken and sweet too 🙂
broken and sweet, so basically just looking for the male verson of you aww you love yourself 😛 well I think being broken teaches compassion and empathy most times so it should be an easy combination for you to find. Not that you have to be broken to be compassionate but it does seem to help lol
Lol Yes I do happen to love myself I’m freakin awsome and you know it. i feel sorry for other people who will never understand the feeling of complete awesomeness! lol
And you are right you don’t need to be broken to be compassionate it just helps. I think you become more compassionate when you feel how much you need someone to be a little compassionate towards you. 🙂
yea you are pretty cool I guess we can agree on that 🙂 I don’t think you could date yourself though…well maybe if you clone yourself but wouldnt it be weird if you cloned yourself so you could date your clone but then your clone didnt want to date you lol
But…. but……. y wouldn’t i love me if i was cloned. :'( eh whatever i’d probably go insane around myself anyway. Besides cloning can be dangerous you could lose a part of you answer that could be the only part the clone portrays.
hmm go insane I thought must already be insane if you ended up here with the rest of us, isn’t this wonderland? we are all mad here
Hahaha i guess ur right. So then when is the next tea party?!
we could have one to celebrate your next unbirthday? We just have to put it on the calendar and get it in the appointment book, sooooo when is your next unbirthday?
My opinion expressed by kurt cobain on ‘negative creep’
We really want you to consider your boundaries around the abuse you have suffered.
Help is available, you can make a change even if you feel trapped.
Only you can decide when you want change, only you can set these boundaries.
Help is available, write to us if you need help.
Good luck.