my battle

so I was recently sick I had lost so much weight it actually made me feel great of course I was sick and I couldn’t do a thing and I had to haveathlete surgeries but I was finally skin but people actually noticed and loved the new me so did I actually but ten I started gaining it all back on top of all of it I’m battling depression so knowing I’m fat again didn’t sit well with me do I started cutting myself which worked then but I’m now currently battling the urge to kill myself I really want to but then I chicken out and dot do it butwall I think about now is death I know I need help but I don’t want people to think I’m the poor fat girl who is depressed over not having a boyfriend the girl that got made fun of in front of the whole class about being fat while the fucking teacher just sat there and didn’t do a god damn thing did she know I went home and cried myself to sleep for five weeks after thaindies anyone in that class who was chuckling under their breath know how badly I wanted to en it all when swimming in gym came up no because people in this filthy god damn place don’t give a shit about know one well I’m doing better now I have become anorexic and not a single fucking one of them say anything to me now I’m just the freak well fuck the,… fuck them…