Hello all,
I am a 27 year old mentally disabled male that is good for nothing. I grew up in special education services but somehow managed to graduate college with a bachelors degree. My job sucks, i work in an office all day literally staring at my computer like a zombie and cannot hold a conversation with anyone. Everyone at my office knows i’m a disabled fuck and laughs at me. I feel so humiliated walking into that building every day. I have also been battling severe depression over the course of the last 9 years or so and have never had control over my life. I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist but they are no good to me…Their attitude is “take this pill, take that pill….it’s help you feel better”….bullshit, the disability is never going away and i just want to DIE. I’ve socially isolated myself from my “friends” the past 9 months or so and no one seems to care what i’m going through. The last time i took an IQ test was when i was 18 yrd old and received a full scale IQ of 94. However, i recently took a neurological examination with my therapist and fell below average in almost every category….reading comprehension, story recall, long-term memory. etc. I’ve attempted suicide 4x before…pills twice, suffocation once and the detergent method once….i obviously failed all 4x and thought the detergent method would be the easiest way to go but i messed up how to do it. Honestly, i have nothing left to live for and i know suicide is the cowards way out but i have absolutely no future ahead of me and the disability can never be cured. Someone help me die….
5 comments
Wait, so what mental disability do you have??
It sounds like you’re just cursed with regular incompetence. And a very minor case of it too. You type pretty well, and if you’re sick of your job, have you looked at any other ones? Honestly, it’s not too hard to get a job that isn’t McDonalds or Wendy’s if you just show that you’re a hard worker and can handle paperwork.
I can’t understand your suffering very well, but if you need someone to talk to, SP is here 24/7. If your mind is set on dying, there are a few threads around here somewhere that discuss painless methods.
You sound like a pretty amazing person to achieved all that. I’m sorry people laugh at you, people can be cruel and mostly that just comes from ignorance. That’s their deficiency, not yours. Btw don’t worry too much about the neuropsych assessment, sometimes depression and demotiovation can affect those scores.
i always get a good laugh out of these types of posts that remind me so much of my own life. it’s not much consolation, but youre not alone disabled02. the classically wise often have social issues. einstein comes to mind immediately. i dont like how you downplayed you getting your bachelors degree though; thats a huge accomplishment. the incalculable number of hours you must have put into getting your degree is something to behold. i wish i had the drive and motivation to push myself into higher learning but my own mental issues drag me down.
I have a severe case of ADHD…I cannot think clearly, both my short-term and long-term memory are shot, I get easily confused over simple tasks like responding to a customer’s e-mail. The therapist also told me I have a processing speed problem. In another words, it takes me longer to comprehend things said to me. I’ve never had a serious girlfriend, barely have any friends, and I have a brother who has excommunicated and shunned me. My life is over, I just don’t see anyway around it…
I’m sorry for your disability it’s ashame you never asked for it you were just unlucky, but then again we all struggle with things, yours is your disability, mine is my manic depression, and I suppose everyone else in the world has something they struggle with, life’s a ***** and people are crawl, but let me say your to much of a decent human been to give up now. This is obviously something you have dealt with your whole life, and even though you don’t see it look how far you’ve came, even with the crap you have had to deal with you still manage to go to work each day and earn your right to be here.
You disability is only one part of who you are, some people will abuse that and make you feel crap but people like me and so many others wont judge you for that, I wouldnt like you to judge me over my highs and lows of my never ending depression trips so why should I judge you for something you did not ask for or cannot control, hang in there i know it must seem hard and I cannot imagine just how hard it is for you but stick it out, apply for some new jobs get away from the arseholes you have to work with (excuse my language), start mixing with your friends again start with just one friend you really got along with, then when you feel ready move along and hang out with a few more people, no matter where you are or go someone will always judge you either it be for a disability or just become they for some reason don’t like the look of you, but those people there not worth your time, your a lot better then them. Stick with those that exept you for the person you are. Be someone’s inspiration, be a story for a child having to grow up with the disability you have. Show them that life’s hard but you can get thought it.