Seems like it’s becoming a high priority again. Damn Eating Disorder…
Fuck swimming classes man. If it weren’t for having them every single day for two hours I could of had the chance to starve myself. I want to die, but I don’t want to die drowning. I’m pretty sure that’s an unpleasurable experience. When I was anorexic, I was 5’5 and 98 lbs, that was back in Dec.-Nov. 2011. 10 months have passed since then, today I finally had to weigh-in in school. Of course I had clothes on, and I weighed myself naked as anorexic. The scale popped out at 132lbs. My heart sunk, and from there I had those strong urges to go back there again or lose weight. Before anorexia I was 138 lbs without clothes. So I’m about 10 pounds less than before anorexia, though I’ve built muscle than before, but it still kills me. I don’t want to be that “fat” looking person I was before anorexia. It’s haunting me again man. Fuck. I hate this shit. I suffer from more shit that was just as worse as having an Eating Disorder and it fucking hurts. Seriously I should just die soon. I gained so much fucking weight.
1 comment
Well, you seem to be in full control of your body. Overweight or not you’re okay as long as you keep movin’. You have my support, Abiron. Swimming is awesome.