My aunty is visiting me before I leave for college, and she is the prettiest of my mom’s siblings because she uses the most makeup and she is the “beauty expert”. The only downside to this is that she cares way too much about her looks and comments on other peoples’ too. I was at the mall with her today with one of my other family members, and she kept talking about how much smaller she is than I am, yet she still has more than double my breast size. She kept saying comments during dinner (we ate saucy chicken wings from her favorite restaurant) about […]
Is it normal… to look in the mirror and not see yourself in the reflection?
Having been so caught up in everyone’s “expectation†of you. To have completely lost yourself trying to be what everyone else wanted you to be?
Every night you dream of this life, you could NEVER have, but every day you long for it.
You have all these hopes… dreams… ideas… that you want to fulfill but just not enough time to do so.
Then you go to sleep… still having yet to achieve anything extraordinary in your life, waking up in the morning realizing your one day closer to […]
So, I have been planning on suicide on the 3rd next month. People are telling me not too but, I literally can’t take the pain anymore. I cut last night and I was clean for more than 3 months! But, anyways here’s my pointless story..
So, Last year. ‘8-3-12’ I kinda thought I was in love.
About a couple months into our relationship it was getting a little depressed.
The guy, Jt, told me he loved me everything and then a couple days later,
He just left me and told me everything was getting taken away from him,
his phone,ps3, home phone, etc.
So, I said […]
Im not a very important person. I don’t tell people about my problems. I have many. They drive me insane. I wish I was better person. I cant tell anyone abut this side of me except my only friend cole. he is the only one who will ever understand me. ever.
this is a list 0f my problems
1.im different
2.i cut
3.i am bulimic and anorexic
4.suicidal
5.family death
6.commitment issues
7.my mother has been dating a married man I hate for 6 years
8.my family thinks there’s something wrong with me
9.bullied
10.no friends
11.awkward
12.shy
13.anger issues
14.migranes
15.lack of sleep
16.i hear voices
17.cant focus
18.sexualy abused by half sister [longstory]
and last of all
19.i cant stand myself
please help, my family or […]
i was talking to this girl today. and she told me that she has started self harming. people call her anorexic because she is so naturally skinny. she says she hates her body so much and she cries every night and she thinks she is so ugly.
this girl is one of the main reasons i started self harming. over a year ago, she made me feel worthless and i got depressed.
i have just found out today that she is just as sad and self consious as she made me. i wanted to just yell. i wanted to scream ‘karmas a *****’! but i didnt. i […]
I’m bulimic and anorexic. Most of my friends don’t know so I wanted to gt it out somehow. All of the times I had been called fat by my mom, so called friends, random people too has led to this. Everything is just so messed up and I no longer know what to do. I haven’t even mentioned all the suicide attempts and cutting. I cant handle myself and everything is going downhill.
I am 14. A freshman. On the crew team. Go to a well known school. Get good grades. I do what I need to do to get through highschool. But, everything I do is not good enough for my parents. It all started when I was born. Adopted. Great huh? Although, I grew up thinking I was born to these parents, biologically. Soon to figure out I wasn’t. Heartbreaking. I fought through all the pain of feeling not loved. Until 2009, when my “mothers,” father died. He was my one and only.He kept me sane. I told him everything. He told me everything. It was […]
so cold ….not hearted but physically well that what i get for being anorexic but wait im anorexic because of bullies so its not my fault….wish i could stop and recovery but im too fat …sadly where i cut fat in my arm has faded 🙁
Tommorow i have a christmas party, at school.
Its suppose to be 75 degrees outside
While everyone else is wearing short sleeved shirts and capris.
Ill be wearking my skinney jeans and long sleeves.
With such fresh cuts as deep as mine
I’ll keep them to my self
Because their mine
Here goes another day living in the life of me…
14 supposedly a beauty queen
Finally in her teens
Always out there causing a scene
Skipping meals to finally become lean
Wishing she could be truly seen
Here it goes in the life of me..
I don’t wanna wake up in the morning and look in the mirror to find another revolting reflection.
I dont want to have to change seveen times because i look unattractive in over half of my cloths.
I dont wanna be afraid to wear a bikini anymore.
I dont wanna worry about if i rain out of make up because if i didnt wear it i’d look disgusting.
I dont wanna constantly feel the need to look in the mirror not out of vain, but to make sure i look decent […]
I sit here eating .. like a pig. Ive already eaten two burriotos, chow mein and now icecream.. and yet im still hungery. I’ve tried to puke up my food but i never have the balls. And i’ve tried to go with out eating but all it does when i finally eat is make me look like a bigger big then i already am. Im 14 and wieght 125pounds and i hate it. Everyone says its fine. That thats a normal weight.. but when u look at the other girls AT SCHOOl at their all 105 and TALLER then you .. you know your fat. […]
I’ve had enough suffering with depression for a while. Now my best friend is going through alot of problems, and i mean ALOT. i need to stay with her and help her through it all, but it kills me. I’m always flashing back to when i was were she is now.. alone, anorexic, crying, cutting, all of it. Now i have to sit here and watch her deal with all of this, and i have to try and help her get better. Shes really stubborn as it is, but shes in denial, she doesnt see whats really going on, and she doesnt see where everyone […]
everythings supposed to be perfect. i have the most amazing boyfriend ever but… i still want to cut and puke. i cant eat normal even though he begs me to. im still depressed. i still want to die. i still feel fucking empty like i dont exist…. WHY? this was supposed to fix everything having my best friend in the whole universe as my boyfriend but somethings wrong. i just wanna starve, cut and die but he wont let me.
i dont know how much longer i can last
I told my two best friends that i think i need help and that i thought i was borderline anorexic. the first one laughed and said that it was okay, then she turned the conversation to herself. like i don’t even matter. she turned to my other friend and said ‘i cut myself the other day after not doing it for so long.’ i wanted to turn to her and say ‘yeah, well i contemplate suicide every night and you ignoring my problems because you think all anyone ever cares about is you. thanks for letting me know you want me to stay here.’
the second person i told was […]
Seems like it’s becoming a high priority again. Damn Eating Disorder…
Fuck swimming classes man. If it weren’t for having them every single day for two hours I could of had the chance to starve myself. I want to die, but I don’t want to die drowning. I’m pretty sure that’s an unpleasurable experience. When I was anorexic, I was 5’5 and 98 lbs, that was back in Dec.-Nov. 2011. 10 months have passed since then, today I finally had to weigh-in in school. Of course I had clothes on, and I weighed myself naked as anorexic. The scale popped out at 132lbs. My heart sunk, […]
I know how some people wanna be skinny and thin but I don’t. I’m 15 years old and don’t have an eating disorder i’m just VERY skinny. I hate it I get made fun of a lot and get called chicken legs or twig. People make fun of me and say i’m anorexic. When I go to get clothes I can find anything that fits me. Also lately Ive been lonely my friends ignore me and don’t talk to me for reasons I don’t know. Ive been thinking about cutting and suicide lately. I always think about if I did die no one would miss me or notice. I just want to be loved and be comfortable on how I look.
I’m starting to gain weight! I know that so many females (and some males) would dread this, but I can’t tell you how happy it makes me!
Before my life took a turn for the worse, I use to eat like a pig. I’d have up to 5th servings for everything and just seem to not stop eating. I’d exercise most of it off, but I was still large for my age. During the time when my depression was at it’s highest, I basically stopped eating and started trying to exercise a lot. As a result, I lost nearly half my body weight. Even as I started getting […]
I spend every second of every single day trying to make sure that I am “skinny”. I don’t even want to be like.. anorexic. I just want to have a little skin on my belly. I used to be that, but due to high amounts of stress POOF! There goes my cute little body. I hate looking into the mirror. I wish I could erase what I see. I eat only smart ones, healthy choice, special K, or salad. Literally, this is it. I work out three to four times a week from thirty minutes to an hour. I swear I do not cheat on […]
i have been cutting myself for the past 6 yrs, as well as making myself vomit. i have been doing this since i was 9 yrs old. im adopted, and i hate the family that i am in now. my parents never let me do what i want and my dad offten touches me in ways that i do not like. i have been phsically bullied and only recently moved on, people at school make fun of me and call me an emo and anorexic. i feel like everyhting is pointless and theirs no reason to keep going. the only things im good at […]
I’m…I don’t know what I am. Depressed? Bipolar? According to a medical diagnosis, probably not. I’ve read stories on here that speak of not being able to even get up in the morning, who can’t find the will to do anything. I, however, get up, I go to school, put on a smile, talk to people, act normal. Inside, I’m a complete mess. School is like my own personal hell. I really don’t have friends. I’m so alone and yet surrounded by people. I hate life. I want to die. God, how I just want to end this torture. There are some days I actually […]
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