*** ** MAJOR amendment to this thread!!! VERY IMPORTANT! Scroll down to my last post. It will save you A LOT of trouble! Seriously!!!! *******
I’ve figured it out! I feel like celebrating! I’m so happy and relieved!
In my heart of hearts, I believe people should be allowed the dignity and respect of deciding how long they live. To me, what drives a person to end their life is the devestating part; that profound suffering and internal unending pain. But not the actual suicide; that’s freedom.
For example, I recently had to have my 15 year old poodle euthanized. She had a million and one health issues and got to the point where she could barely walk across the room, so crippled from arthritis. No pain med helped her. The moment she was released from that suffering, she was at peace. I could feel it.
Being mostly an existentialist, I don’t believe in heaven or hell, or that we exist as “spirits” for all enternity, to be reunited with our loved ones, when we die. That’s just a bunch of hype designed to instill false hope in the living. But it works for the majority so that’s great for them.
I’ve figured out a peaceful way to die. After years of trying various methods, compromising the health of my body, undergoing the physical and mental torture of trying to overcome this disease, I finally figured it out. It’s so simple. And it will be me immediately falling asleep, within seconds, and dying in that state of deep sleep.
Funny enough, it’s put me in a terrific mood! I feel light and hopeful and free, just knowing I have this painless, sure-fired way out. Happy enough that I just wanted to share it with some like-minded folks. 🙂
27 comments
I want to get euthanized. But as i’m like huaman. No one will.
I figured it out, though! It’s even *better* than euthanasia! And it can be concocted with three simple items you can get from the local Walmart for under 10 bucks. I had * no idea * about this method. None. I can’t believe people don’t talk about it more!!!!! WTF?>>>?? It’s really so simple. No pain, no mess, no major hoops to jump through, no gradual organ failure to endure over hours or days, no worries about surviving with disabling consequences. I don’t really know how in detail I’m allowed to go on this site. It’s fricken brilliant, though. Fricken genious.
I’m SO fricken tempted to at least experiment with it, now that I’m home for the rest of the day. I saw my therapist, though, and she’s a pretty good salesman when it comes to pushing through the thoughts of suicide. Tomorrow is the test, though. I start EMDR on Thursday. She’s sure this will be a huge HUGE turn around for me.
BUt I SO want to just
FUCK
IT
ALLL!
Chloroform.
Am I allowed to say the word chloroform?
No, not allowed 🙁
There’s a definition of happiness. I was going to make a post, I’m too sozzled now. Suicide always seems like a bad decision when it’s someone else. We are here for each other and if anyone out there even thinks they can triuble an an SP member, well, they will know about it.
Trouble not triuble…. drunk 🙂
sick_of_it Since you’re “not allowed” to post methods here would you mind dropping me an email? Or at least writing a very cryptic message that i can figure out.
Scar, Sure. No prob.
Mr. Marmalade, (What is that, anyway? Like jelly, right?) I’m a bit sloshed, myself, at the moment. Rootbeer flavored Schmirnoff. Kind of sickeningly sweet, btw. Bleh. But >>>> I can drink! (I’ve been sober almost three weeks.) And I can eat! I can fucking EAT! (I have an eating disorder. Now that I’ve figured a way out —— I can fucking EAT all I want!! Whoo HOOO! AND I don’t have to puke it back up!!!) I have pizza rolls cooling on the counter, atm. I’ve already eaten like 8 Reese’s minis. And turkey breast with cranberry sauce. All since I got home. Maybe an hour or so. I CAN EAT!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Knowing I have a way out is beyond incomprehensibly comforting and reassuring!
Fuckin A!~
Ok, so Scar, it turns out I don’t have a link to PM or email you. Can you help me out here?
Smirnoff and lemonade hits the spot for me. Look, your posting on this site for a reason. There’s more to life than alcohol and alcohol related snacks. Let’s just step out, take a deep breath and look around. We are the world mate. No one can take that away. If you want to drink smirnoff and eat pizza, no one can stop you. Isn’t that empowering. In fact they are out slaves making the pizza and vodka. We just consume and afterwards, when it runs out, we send them to make more.
Scar, Google “How to make Chloroform.”
I love pizza. Vodka is gross. But I like the way it feels. I have to choke it down.
I have the stuff sitting right here on the kitfchen table behind my computer.
So simple.
All of those stupid attempts I made- eating poisonous plants, habachi in the car, habachi in my room, Rx drug overdoses, wrecking my car… fucking futile and embarrassing!
This is so fire proof I’m giddy. I mean I really am. I voluteer at the local hospital and work today was TORTURE bc all I could think about was getting out of this world. And that I now know how!
I have A LOT of people depending on me, counting on me, rooting for me. And that’s what anchors me here on this fucking hell-hole.
I close my eyes and just wish with all my heart they can let me go. Hurting my neice, my sister, my supports, my best friends, they have to live with it. But then again, life hurts. Who can stop it from hurting, in the end.
If anyone who knew me knew all this, I’d be back in effing St. Mary’s, on the locked ward, like a common criminal or psycho, before the sun set. They’d be signing me up for ECT. (Yep, electroconvulsive therapy. They still do that in this day and age. It AIN”T no walk in the park. Let me tell you.)
If I don’t stop posting, it means my batteries dead. I’m in town but only live 15 mins away so, won’t be long.
I like Vodka because it’s the only drink I can wake up the next day without the after-effects.
You should email Scar. He/She is a cool dude, but I think it’s a he. I get things wrong sometimes, just ask Lucy.
I don’t like it when people come to this site because of what others have done to them, it hurts me. That’s avoidable and people are like that. I’ve experienced it myself.
Doesn’t mean we arent cool dudes. I am me, and what. Pick a fight with someone that can dish it out and see what happens.
People on this site have experiences terrible things at the hands of others. They are NOTHING. I wish I could end their pain in the only way I know how.
Yeah, i looked it up after posting, thanks though. It’s a helpful substance for any method really. You could just inhale some while swimming for instance.
So what is it??? I need something th at will work quick. I tried 2600mg of saraquil(or h owever you spell it), and it was a total flop… anyway, PLEASE let me know.
@ Scar,
How do you mean?
Acetone is a very important part of the picture. Generally swimming pools don’t have acetone.
“Shock n Swim” isn’t toxic in and of itself.
And neither is acetone. (Main ingredient in nail polish remover.)
It’s the chemical change that occurs when combined in a specific manner that matters.
So you’re thinking Choloroform isn’t a good method? Just curious about your thoughts on it.
@ Mr. Marmalade,
I hate forum fights. I’ve dumped forums for the inane fights that take over. I like healthy, sane, thoughtful debates. I respect someone who can state their opposing point of view with integrity and some sense of kindness. Once people start calling each other names and pointing fingers, I’m outtie.
I think it’s fun how you call everyone mate. Where are you? UK I’m assuming? I’m in the US. We don’t really have any quirky colloquialisms (however the hell you spell that.) “Peeps” seems to be the dominant one, atm. Short for people, I’m guessing.
Yesterday I loaded up on sedatives after my last post here and just woke up little over an hour ago. Sometimes that’s best solution in the moment.
Scar and anyone else interested in very specific “how to’s” :
http://www.erowid.org/archive/rhodium/chemistry/chloroform.html
Sunnimeri,
Got your email. I’m not keen on sharing emails, though. Nothing personal. I just don’t want anyone trying to sabatoge my efforts by getting hands my personal information.
So, yeah, check out the link in my post above. Everything you could possibly need to know.
You can buy it already distilled on Ebay, too. Perfectly legal.
Good luck to you!
BTW, everyone,
I just ordered 250 ML of straight Choloroform off Ebay. Under $30 after shipping (US). I’m experimenting with a sample of mixing my own with the Shock n Swim and acetone as I write this. (Waiting for it cool/get done reacting.) So far it’s have the chemical change as expected. If this doesn’t work, I’ll at least have the stuff from Ebay on it’s way.
I’ve taken a nice dose of sedatives. My therapist is good at getting me to hang on – just one more day, just one more hour, just one more minute. So I’m going to try to sleep. I feel like an idiot half the time. Cause after I’ve made all this effort to “hang on” I’m left with the thought, “Ok, WTF? What now?”
Are you going to test it out first? Like have a whiff and see if it puts you out. What i meant before was that you could for instance, have a smell while standing on a boat or bridge or something and then you’ll just pass out and fall in. Or the same with hanging etc.
Scar,
Well, so far no dice. I’m on try #3. (After try #2 ended up all over the stove when the glass decanter shattered. Argh.) I did try a whiff each time. I sat on the sofa and entirely expected to pass out straight away. Nope. However, this time, the reaction seemed genuine. It literally boils- and I mean BOILS- the minute you add the acetone provided everything is the right temp and measurment. I’m not sure if I cooled it down too soon or too late, though. ❓ If you cool it down too late, you’ve lost most of the chloroform through evaporation. If you do it too soon, you interrupt the reaction and chloroform won’t have a chance to develop.
Ok. So maybe this idea isn’t as easy as it sounds! lol But at least it’s providing an afternoon of entertainment.
The resulting headache isn’t so nice. : /
Oh, and this shit does burn if you get it one your skin. My finger tips are really tingling with a burning feeling.
It’s times like these that I wish I had taken A-level chemistry.
Mr. Marm, I know, right?
Sad things is I just took college level Chem I and Chem II three years ago. Stupid is as stupid does, I suppose.
Trial #3 isn’t working out. I got the vigorous boil but then it didn’t seperate into layers. So I reactivated it by heating it in a hot water bath. It did do some more fizzling and bubbling for a few minutes. I took it off and cooled it. Still, no layers.
urgh. >:(
I’ve been fighting the sleeping pills for a solid hour or so at this point. I’m just fucking going to bed. Worse comes to worst, I’ll have to wait for the Ebay order. And pray it’s not bootleg crap. I think it will be the real McCoy, though. The seller has 100% positive feedback from buyers.
Can’t you just make normal stuff like ******** triiodide instead?
(Huh. I just typed a reply. Went to make a phone call before submitting. And now it’s gone. ?)
Anyway, what’s nirigen triiodide? I suppose I could google it.
Hint to anyone considering the method of Chloroform as an exit:
***** Buy the shit from a lab/maker. ***** Don’t try to go to the trouble to make it yourself. I didn’t exactly just fall off the turnip truck (pre-vet student) and still haven’t figured it out after four trials over the course of almost 10 hours.
Ebay. $30. Done.