I dont know how to start this. I feel head sick, my brain just never stops. everything is just going and going.it feels like its been years since i slept, like really slept, or woke up and felt like”todays he day”. my entire life i have always felt behind, like everyone in the world attended the”how to” of life, and i was late and missed it. sometimes i have dark thoughts, dark enough i wont put on here but they are terrifying. the thing that i dont get is i come from a good home. both my parents love me and my mom has done everything in her power to help me but like i said its like i just do not function as a normal human being.honestly, not cutting or burning is hard, and we are not talking about the little ***** i want attention cutting, this was scalpel in hand cutting deep, so deep that at first it doesn’t even bleed the the blood starts flowing and its hard to believe you even have that much, then you feel light headed from the blood-loss.i am very lucky i have not killed myself,though i have never tried and do not plan to(im afraid of hell) but man wouldnt it be nice just to be done? say fuck it im out. and never have anything ever? just be done and finally be able to rest? then i feel guilty. it comes in waves like an angry sea pounding the cost line. guilt from the fact that people who have it 10 times worse are doing better than me and not bitching, people in other countries who starve and die or see horrible things happen to the ones they love. people always tell me”well that should motivate you, and make you feel better” but it doesn’t. it makes it that much worse. Why cant i just put the fucking pieces together? i guess im just out of step with the world and slowly but surely losing my mind
Family & Friends EffectsGeneralI Will SurvivePoetry & ArtRantsStories of HopeStories of LossSuicidal Survivors
3 comments
You say yours scared of hell, but I think that life is hell, for most of us anyway. And that death is just like going to sleep, but it’s not full of nightmares or bad dreams. It’s peaceful once your dead, there’s no more suffering, no brain activity, no heart beat, no nothing. You can just sleep forever. To me that sounds more like a heaven. And yes other people have it worse and yes other people have it better, but that dosen’t mean you don’t matter, because you do. You sound like you have a lovley family, maybe you should reach out for help from them ? Go and talk to a professional ? I don’t know if you’ve done this already, but if you haven’t that’s the place to start.
thank you that means slot. last time i talked to anyone i was put into a place filled with other suicidal kids. imagine a mental institution without the out right insane people. much like jail. that was something i would not wish on my worse enemy
@ Sophie
That’s the best damn advice I’ve seen on here, you truly have your way with words,
And I’m glad you helped hheadsick out,
He seems to be grateful for your compassion