I am not feeling like it right now. That nagging feeling of pain, that would just fly around my head, I would try to swat it and it would stay there, flying.
I am content with that, and willing to live, but every once in a while I feel this crushing feeling, this little voice in the back in my head, that no matter what, I will fail, my dreams, my aspirations will just fall flat on it’s face, that my 17 years of life have been futile, worthless, an utter waste of time.
That the education system was rigged for me to fail. But right now? I feel good, I am crying a little but I am still alive.
But since elementary school I haven’t been able to feel proper emotions, I get sad, I get angry, but they don’t feel real. Someone in my family dies. I don’t care, I just feel like someone broke me. Maybe that’s what I am. A broken individual with a failing life. But at least I don’t want to die.