No One Understands Me.

The thing about my cutting, is that I can’t stop, it’s the only way I even know how to cope. My parents tried to force me to quit cutting. The stress made me want to do it even more. So I continued and even picked up smoking. They stopped trying to make me quit, because they thought they did a good job, and that I had quit. They all have no clue I continued or picked up another habit. I just cut less than two hours ago, my entire stomach basically. Covered in blood from my habit, burning from all the pain. I sadly like it. It makes me forget, when I cope this way, nothing is there for those few seconds, and just forgetting for even one second alone helps. I don’t know why, so don’t bother asking. Don’t bother saying you care, because you don’t even know the real me. And if I took the path of suicide tonight, in everyone’s book, I’d just be another girl who took her life because she was “only thinking of herself”. I’ve thought about who it would mainly affect. Really only my bestfriend. But she’s just like me, so if I do chose that path, shed prolly be right there with me. I’m so sick of people lieing and say they would care or how they’re always gonna be there for m, and I can talk to them at any time. No, I really can’t. No one understands, and they would all find me insane. I wake up everyday, instantly wishing I would just die. I can’t even focus in school because that’s all I think about, either that or depressions always is right there to hit me. I hate life. Nothing helps, literally nothing. I’m 14, and have already decided that my life is pointless.