As the World Dies Within…….

THis is my story as I have seen it and why I did what I did. I was married to the love of my life and to this day wondered how and why I found a beautiful woman like her to fall in love with a loser like me. To this day I i still don’t know. Well years went on and we had 3 beautiful talented children. Somewhere our lines got crossed and we stopped having a relationship outside of our children. I know I am at fault for the problems with our marriage. My wife asked for a divorce, at which she tells me that she wasnt in love with me for many years. We have a 2year old little girl. So I asked her if she felt that way for years why did we have our daughter? Her answer was cus she wanted to have all of her children from the same father. At that point my self esteem was crushed. We would verbally fight infront of our children, now thinking about it, I was in the wrong for fighting in front of our children. She takes the children away from me. She decides to charge me with assault for things i didnt realize waas assault. But I am guilty of it. She put a undertaking on me were I cant see my children. I am sooooo Lonely without my children it been almost 3months without any contact…. I find myself finding it harder to get up in the morning… Not so deep down in my heart, I have almost given up on myself and believe that my children would be better off without me. She wins, she got the children and I get the depression and everything that goes along with it. I have tried counselling but I’m not moving forward rather back. The closer I get to seeing my children again is met with another wall to chip away at. Well my pick is almost at its end and so am I with my life. NO one will every know the pain I am going through. People can talk till their blue in the face but at the end of the day.. NOTHING CHANGES!!!! Well I need to stop hurting inside. Im not afraid of dying, rather Im afraid for my children. Their dad tried his best but to my standard I was a terrible dad. Nothing anyone can say can make me change my mind. Myself is the only one to blame for misfortune events. As a reminder to everyone…A famous quote (KEEP YOUR STICK ON THE ICE)