The first post

I’m going to guess your about 24 or 25, what I say is this, you state you have tried meds, sometimes they don’t work especially if we don’t take them right, or when we feel it not working, don’t tell the doctors, or we are taking other chemicals such as alcohol or other types of drugs. The consumtion of alcohol is the biggest reason of all that our meds don’t work. I’m not saying you are drinking or using I’m just putting that out there for anyone who may read this. Somtimes it may take a year or two to get that right combination or dosage, its a merry go round and it sucks, yet with time you may find more relief than you expect. There is no magic pill that will fix us, out thinking, or anything else that the human minds can beat us up with.

If you have a history of pot, psycadelics, extasy, opiods, speed these are all drugs even though we may not be using them now, the effects of past usage are damaged recptors, serotonin, and other brain functions. This is a fact for many humans, some people just seem to go on with life with no consequences from these activities. I was depressed before I ever took the first drink (at 7 yrs) and my first drug usage began at 10 all the way thru till 32 years, then a 4 year break in AA, then multiple relapse’s, just came off of a 8 weeks run back in Febuary to May.

I started taking prozac after 14 years off of it, that and lamictal together have me feeling the best I’v felt in years. Just because I feel good does not mean I don’t think about suicide everyday. In fact I am in a serious situation that may require me to end my life. Don’t ask. So even though I feel great, I can still end my life on a logical basis. I don’t want to yet thats what will probably happen.

So go back to a shrink and get back on some meds, tell them the seriousness of how you feel. They will really attempt to help you.

I don’t know if your a religious person or even spiritual, ……… I can say this, ever see those bumper stickers that say; Prayer Changes Things ? All the praying in the world can’t do me any good at this point, yet for years in AA I prayed, my sponsor was an athiest and he would ask me if I prayed today. Prayer changes the person thats doing the praying, yet most people do not know how to pray. I would suggest reading Sermon On The Mount by Emmet Fox, 1920’s I think. He disects the messege of Christ into everyday average persons understanding and it isn’t the meesege thats from a pulpit.

I just talk to God when I prayed just like I’m talking to a friend in person, choose a god or a power greater then you that is bigger than your problems, or anyway you want to understand a god, its all up to you, the realm of the spirit is all inclusive, never exclusive, anyone who earnest searchs will find.

There are natural ways to ward off depression, one is to come here and share your thoughts. Find some trustworthy closed mouth people to spill this stuff out. I would go as far to suggest even though you aren’t an alcoholic, to go to some open meetings (they are open to non alcoholics to see what a spiritual life is about and how we get there from where we are at) go to at least 15, you don’t have to speak at all, if called on just say your name and your a vistor. AA has helped millions of people out of deep depression, yet I’m only suggesting you go there because its free, and the best darn mental help there is, no one is in control, there are no grand po pa’s.

I hope you find a way past this, heck, start running, jogging, going to a gym, etc, they are all great ways to get the seritonin and dopamine levels up, they are the chemicals that make us feel good, kinda like sex, the chemicals are released and we feel better.