My story:
I’ve had bouts of depression throughout my life. However, I was at one point and recently married, happy, and hopeful. Â Then one day the dark storm approached. My wife admitted to having multiple affairs, one in our first year of marriage (6 years total), and one that was still currently going on. There were other men in the middle. Just a month before this, she was talking to me about having children with me. Sending me baby names, etc. It was blue sky for me at that time… maybe a cloud or two. Once she told me, I thought I could fix the problem but it was as if she didn’t want anything. I left her and went to spend time with my family. About a week after this fallout, I was laid off from my job. I was at an all time low. Luckily, I did have an interview for a new job that came up. The problem was that it was in a state that I didn’t know anyone… ZERO. My mind wasn’t ready for this but it appeared to be the only job offered over the 4 months of looking. So here I am, alone in a strange state, recently divorced, and desperate for any kind of support. My family can only do so much from far away… and haven’t offered to come out. For four months I’ve been trying to make a life in this small town but no one will accept me. Am I broken. All I feel is pain growing inside. It hurts to feel rejected, unloved, alone. I have never thought about suicide so seriously until now. I always said never me. But now???? My coping mechanisms are not strong enough for the pain. I’m so tired………….
2 comments
Hello sad_man,
Ever wonder if you are being tested? Just curious. Since we have never “met”…I will refrain from offering any advice…but I just wanted to let you know…that I read your post and am sending you a virtual hug.
I could comiserate with you…but I am an old woman…and have worked through these issues myself…don’t much want to revisit them…haha I just wanted you to know that someone has heard, understands, and cares.
Here if you want to talk or just someone to listen
Peace
Amakua
Pretty bad deal! What you’re going through really isn’t that uncommon, except being away from home and know friends, my first divorce I spent six months on the bar stool and I divorced her! it’s was painful and I didn’t have friends because I didn’t want anybody that I knew to see me in that condition , finally I was so……………drunk I could hear the people in the bar making bets I couldn’t get up and walk out, I was so……………drunk I was blind, I got up adjusted my shirt and walked out and quit feeling sorry for myself, and after that I started new, I guess my point is when you’re done feeling down and out then people would like to make friends with you, nobody wants a stick in the mud, except on here we love sticks in the mud! We have that in common!