I recently moved into my dorm room, and I wasn’t given a roommate who actually planned to move into the room so I’ve got a room to myself. Many people have said that it’s great that I have the room to myself but in complete honesty it sucks. Everyone has someone to hang out with because they have a roommate and here I sit all alone. I don’t know where the girls on the floor went but they aren’t here and my depression is setting in. I miss my friends and I miss my sister and her son and her boy friend, I miss just […]
Tag:
Four Months
New to this, but have experiences I would like to share and would also like any advice from others.
I have large scars on my leg from top of my thigh to the knee, some very long and wide. On my left arm I have scars on both sides of my arm including my wrist. I have been in this situation for six years. I use to live in small towns where scars were more acceptable so I showed off my arm with ease and didn’t have any issues. I moved to a city a few years ago and have found peoples reactions more of an […]
I wish i would just do it, but why make the ones i love feel the way i do :(
by waste2304
written by waste2304
Hello im waste2304
I honestly don t know why im ganna air all this out here but i guess i hope i can help someone else see it the way i do today i signed up for this site because i need someone…anyone to listen to me i mean im going so crazy and i just need somebody who wont judge me to please just listen to me….every since i was 13 ive attempted to hurt myself a multitude of times…it made all the pain just go away…the depression was killing me and still does till this day…and people say they understand but they truly will […]
I told you I was scared and upset, that I didn’t think I’d be able to do this. I told you about my plans, chewing my lip, knowing you really didn’t care. I told you that too – you got mad, and said that you did. I don’t know how many times I asked you for advice, or for help. You said you’d be here for me, no matter what. But I realized you never were there for me.
I don’t know why I still stick around. You told me you knew. I asked you if things got better, if I even deserved to be […]
four months, down the drain. i want to get a tattoo when i am older, one that looks like the red scratch on my hand at the base of my thumb. i have tried to tell myself that it doesent count, but i know that it does. i know that after four months i have hurt myself again, but to be honest i dont care. everything was just building up inside of me and everytime i look at the cut i am not angry or sad. i am strangely happy or proud. i dont know why. this cut right now means so much […]
I took care of my mom and sister while she was sick and when we werre moving around alot it was hard to keep our spirits up. And the last few months of my moms life was too hard on me. I moved in with a friend while she was in hospice at my house. She later died in the hospital that i was born in. I didnt move back home until 4months after my moms death.during that time i didnt eat, sleep, or talk. i lived on water. i ran for three hours a day, and cut myself before i went to bed. i […]
Hi, my name is Tyler… I’m about to turn 16 in July… I’m exceptionally gay… Which means that I’m gay with one person in my life who is an exception… Her name is Koral… Her and I dated for what would have been four months tomorrow… She broke up with me last Monday… My life has been hell ever since… She claims the reason for her breaking up with me, is that she used to have a feeling for me before we broke up, that she would always want to be around me physically, and she would get excited to talk to me, and be […]
Hello guys, its been about four months i think since i wrote anything. I guess because ive been writting on my journal (which is now burned). For abour a month now…or more, ive been more than depressed. I keep thinking its nothing. I mean im only 15, its normal to feel as if your world is falling apart, or any little thing bothers you because of the way we live or anything like that. Truth is, im getting tired of listening to all these thing. Telling myslf all this things is just huting me even more. Cause really its all fucking lies in my head. […]
I have been having anxiety attacks since I was six years old. When I was 12 I had my first episode of major depression and at 13 made my first plan to kill myself. At 16 I was diagnosed with clinical depression and at 19 I was hospitalized for 2 weeks. Around the age of 30 I had clinical anxiety added to my diagnosis of long term depression. Now I’m nearly 40 and the pain never ends. Sometimes it recedes enough that I can laugh but I’m never really happy. The latest episode of major depression started four months […]
My story:
I’ve had bouts of depression throughout my life. However, I was at one point and recently married, happy, and hopeful. Â Then one day the dark storm approached. My wife admitted to having multiple affairs, one in our first year of marriage (6 years total), and one that was still currently going on. There were other men in the middle. Just a month before this, she was talking to me about having children with me. Sending me baby names, etc. It was blue sky for me at that time… maybe a cloud or two. Once she told me, I thought I could fix the problem […]
The thoughts are becoming fiercer, more vigorous, more overpowering.
It’s been four months since I started my therapy, yet I feel no change. Each month since I was diagnosed, I told myself that I had finally hit rockbottom. Each month I told myself that now there was no way other than up. Each month. March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December.
I was wrong each time. It was never rockbottom. Every time I promised myself to try and get better and to make a true effort, something happened. Whether it was my mom driving me up against the wall with her hand around my […]
Again, this is going to be about Shekiera. I don’t know why, but I feel like I have to record things about her before I forget. not that I would. but I want to remember these memories and dreams before I can’t recall them anymore.
Dream #1:
I can’t really remember this dream, because it was a year ago that I had it. but, I’m going to try and tell you here today. Okay. so, in real life I got my Driver’s license Last year in June, a month after she passed. I didn’t have the dream until four months after that. In that dream I […]
Im 17 years old, im 2 and a half months pregnant.
My boyfriend (the father) is beyond ecstatic and can’t wait to see our baby brought into this world, he’s given up drugs and alcohol and has got a great job to be able to be a better dad.
His twin sister, who used to be my best friend hates me. She constantly tells him that either I’m not really oregnant or tha’t it isnt his baby. She refuses to awknowledge me and accuses me of stealing from her and their dad.
Her boyfriend, who was one of my best friends, and his bestfriend are both sociopaths and […]
I lost my best friend to cancer. I first met her when we were 9, we played basketball on the same team. We had clicked instantly. Best friends right away. She lived two blocks away and we always would meet at the park to hang out. She was a year older then me and she was like a big sister. She always had my back and looked out for me. When she was 12 she got cancer. She had it for three months and then the doctors said it went away. But then four months later, just before she turned 13, the doctors said that […]
I felt suicidal as a teenager, 20 years ago, and never thought it would happen again. I’m a trained mental health worker, I know the signs, I know who I am supposed to call, what I’m supposed to do, but I don’t see the point. Up until May this year I thought suicide was a sad act, and now, I think it is a viable option. Infact, I’ve come up with my own therapy, I have a plan. On the 26th of September 2014 I am allowed to take my own life. Four months before this date, decision making goes in to lock down- as in- […]
I finally made an account. I’ve spent all afternoon reading and I identify entirely with feeling like I’m in a slump. The worst part as I see it is the apathy. The complete loss of excitement for all the little things that used to make me smile and worse yet, the utter lack of care for whomever’s emotions will be affected by my last action on this earth.
I’m 21, completely hopeless, and scared for what lies ahead. I don’t want to disappoint my wife of four months, but with all the fighting I think she’d be better off. I seldom socialize anymore, I dropped […]
Sometimes I wonder if wanting to die is just trying to connect body to mind, because I feel dead inside, and I have for a long time.
Nothing’s changed in my life. I’m still a 26-year old student assistant. I should be happy to even have a job, but I have to pay $250 quarterly just to keep it. And I’m only taking classes to have the job, so it’s not like that’s adding up to anything useful. I have no worth, here.
I have no friends. No, really, I don’t. Not one. I have people that call me every four months to tell me that something […]
Well, I was supposed to die exactly a year and two months ago. Ever since, I feel like I have been in a rut. I don’t know what to do. I’m 14 year old girl. I do have a boyfriend that I love and talk about all the time because I love him so much. I just can’t get out of this rut. I know he is scared for me in more ways than one. First, I can’t help it but I cut myself. Second, I am so depressed and I can’t open up to people that easily so I have a hard time telling […]
It took one month for me to notice you.
One week for you to tell me you liked me.
Three days for you to ask me to be yours.
Two weeks for the fighting to begin.
Four and a half weeks for me to fall in love.
One day for you to change your mind about me.
Six weeks and four days for it to last.
Fifteen minutes for you to end it.
One week for you to find someone new.
Four months for me to convince myself ill be okay.
One month for me to find someone new.
And forever to forget you.
Apparently everything I feel is wrong. What I feel towards her is all wrong. It isn’t love that I feel towards her, but something else entirely that is unknown to me. Is it obsession? So be it. Because it is only obsession, even when she and I were in and relationship what I was feeling towards her was wrong because what I felt then is what I feel now. Only, now the added weight of missing her has been added to the mix. But, wait. I can’t miss her because what I feel is wrong. So, I don’t miss her. And if I don’t miss […]
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