My Papa (Grandfather) has gone to sleep in his room.
My Daddy has the flu, he is laying down in bed.
My mother is working on coupons on the computer across the room.
My second youngest brother is on the couch near me reading a book he got for christmas.
My littlest brother is making mashed potatoes for dinner.
My dog is chewing on a rawhide.
My cat is with my dad.
And I am screaming. Silently shrieking.
My loving family goes on like this. How they cannot see the blade so blatently slashing at my gut I cannot imagine. That they don’t see my insides being ripped out and thrown across the room, my chest burned by fire. But I am glad they cannot. It is not that they are not paying attention. I must keep it from them. They have their own worries. But I want to tell someone. Someone understand. Even though I’m not worth it. You have your own pain, a more justifiable suffering I’m sure. I’m just whiny.
4 comments
Why do you keep saying that your problems are so inconsequential. I mean, any problem is a problem, and I read your previous posts after you responded to mine, which I appreciate, by the way. It turns out we are very similar; I even get headaches like you do. So, maybe it’s worth staying around, because I get where you are coming from! I don’t pretend to understand your situation in its entirety, since after all, only you can. With that said, maybe you could help even myself, for I was on the cusp of another attempt…
That’s all I really ask for now, to be able to help the rest of you. Distractions are very, very important for me right now. I would appreciate then if you would not make that attempt, stay around a little longer, as a favor to me perhaps?
Sure. In fact, I will probably be here tomorrow, the next day, the next day, and man, I really need a life.
For what it’s worth, though, I don’t think you’re a bad person. Your problem may be that you’re not focussed enough on yourself, and so you are hard on yourself even for feeling the way you do, which is not fair to you.