So, the story is: my family and I had as friends another family (my friend, her mom, her dad and her brother) since I was a little baby.
They were like family to me, my friend was like my sister, her brother was like my brother and her parents were like my second parents. They had always treated me VERY well, as part of the family, and so did we, we are all very united.
Problem is: my friend’s dad, in a point in my childhood, had sexually abused me. He didn’t rape me at all, just touched me and had ALOT of physical contact. I never told anyone that kind of thing, and became distant from him. I started to treat him coldly and avoid any proximity or being alone with him.
As time went by, I grew up and the abuses stopped, and he treated me well as always, and no one ever knew about that (I think), I tryed telling my mom once, but I didn’t tell her in details, she let that story go.
The reason I kept silent is that I didn’t want to cause a commotion, I didn’t want the friendship to fall apart and I was very scared to tell anybody also.
Nowadays I have a great boyfriend, which he treats well, and everyone is happy and all, but this issue keeps hammering in my head and I just don’t know what to do… this is where you guys’ opinion goes.
SHOULD I tell somebody what happened and make my friend’s dad look bad even though everyone is okay, or should I keep silent and act like nothing happens. He doesn’t abuse me anymore and treats me really well again. Am I just paranoid and should let this go, since it was just an episode in my life?
I’m not sure it gave me psychological issues, I don’t know If telling someone would ruin everyone’s relationship and I would maybe lose a friend. I’m confused! Help! What would you guys do in my place?
I’m not suicidal, but I need help.
3 comments
honestly my opinion is that when possible honesty is the best policy. i would talk to your friend personally and tell them what happened and how you feel exactly about the situation and how it dosent change anything in you and their families relationship. i feel like this is going to keep eating at you until you let it out. if you feel as though youre over it moved on and it’s not significant (even though it definitely is a big deal) then dont say anything. i know its a tough decision but if you and their family has been close for so many years i feel as though you’ll be able to work through it. i hope i helped if only a little. best of luck! <3
There are such things as secrets that are not meant to be kept. If you are the victim of a crime, you have a choice: talk about it, or let something that is not your fault eat away at you.
You are so right, I am in tears right now talking to my boyfriend and taking the courage to tell someone, even if my mom. Thank you for your help, outside opinions are valuable to me! I never knew this would bring me to tears now that I talked about this issue of my life. I will try to get the guts to finally talk about it! Thank you so much! <3