A little bit of me

Pain overriding any rational thoughts
only feeling what I want most not too
Churning in my stomach, and burning in my chest
How did this happen, I ask
Only to be reminded that there is no explanation
No concrete answer to the question I’m seeking
I just have to accept what is.
Accepting a reality of isolation, loneliness and solitude
Feeling imprisoned by my own being
Trapped in a world I can’t escape
Following me wherever I go.
My mind plagues my every thought
The inner bully condemning every part of me
Ruthless, harsh and callous
Never stopping with its relentless bashing.
Only sleep gives that break that I so longingly strive for
A break from my conscious mind and the world around me
A world in which everything is forgotten
A place where I am no longer running from myself
A place where I am for a short moment, free.
Yet everyday I wake back up into this nightmare
My eyes open and the room closes in
The feelings of dread engulf me
Anxiety overwhelms me
And I realise I have yet another day to endure in this hell.