Someone please tell me if i should just end this all…. i’m fucked up and i’m also done with myself. i’m going to kill myself
February 2013
cold winter hands. confused mind rings. i wish i had a stable upbringing. what am i to teach myself. i apparently do no good. i have no good. i am no good. so why should i help out when i fail in the end. why do i feel like my hands are tied to a cold metal pole. i have no way out. there is no more. not one more chance. why do i shout. why do i fight. im only going to lose. i think to myself at night, the most peaceful yet most dangerous. im not on demand at night. i have time […]
i can’t fake it anymore. can’t hide the tears, come out of the bathroom stall like everything’s okay. lie lie and lie to people that im doing fine. it just won’t happen anymore, the fake happiness is gone. i can’t do it anymore. im already dead inside, sure the scars are gone,but i feel numb. and im fearless, bc what more can life put me through? im sure now ive said that im gonna have a terrible time, but what’s left? been through people coming, leaving, lying, bitching, breaking your trust,your heart, going against you, loneliness, sexual abuse, death, health issues, self harm, family issues, […]
My skin…defines who I am. It’s my history. My story. With all the invisible ink marks that once read words that described me. With scars that overtook me. With the touches of people I once loved. But of all the things it is…there’s one thing it is not. Dead.
http://www.quotev.com/suicidediaries here is my page where i post things…you can look if you like…I have a fake name so people don’t know who I am.
We started reading Romeo and Juliet in English. (I hate English class.) Luckily it was out of a textbook with definitions of the words that I would have been otherwise cluless to the meaning of. I believe star-cross’d is in line 6 of the prologue (that’s just a guess, I wasn’t paying much attention). So here it is…
star-cross’d- doomed by the position of the planets at the time of birth (first use 1595, so this would be included in the list of words Shakespeare made up).
I’d say I like this word. I’ll add it to my list (my favorite being pyrrhic). It seems to describe […]
Im just over it all, everything just kepps pilling on. Today I found out my recovery time is going to take way longer almost a year plus. On top of all this my parent sno longer trust me what so ever. Everyone I know just seems to shrung me off when I look for help. I cant possibly go on, my life is going to be extremely painful and I dont want to live a life of pain why not just end it all now. Sure everyone will be heart broken for a month then everything will go back to normal ill just be another statistic. I know if […]
Sometimes I wish I could be someone else. Â I can’t keep my sh*t together and fall apart all the time.
i dont know when they started. i guess i’ve always thought about death, even as a little kid. I’ve just always seen something and thought “that could kill me. i’d be dead/gone” it used to scare me so much but now i’m used to it. now i listen to it. i’ve already made one attempt and obviously failed. just planning and thinking about it calms all my anxiety. i’ve lost my train of thought for now….sorry for wasting your time
i just wish i wasn’t such a failure, wallowing in my self-pity, but too tired to keep trying when i’ve tried and tried and tried and failed and failed…
i just wish people would love me for who i am, depression warts and all.
i wish people would stop judging.
i wish “normal” people would understand. Â but no one really understands unless they go through it themselves.
i’m tired of being a loser. Â i’m tired of putting up a “happy” front when i am not ok, when i am literally dying inside.
i’m tired of not being able to make my life work.
i’m tired of constantly being depressed and unhappy.
i […]
I don’t want to get into too much details about my situation, I’ll just say depression is bad enough, but can be coped with. Depression plus constant physical pain (which doctors aren’t able to heal), is the straw that broke the camel’s back. I just need to know how big the ******** tank should be for Hypoxia suicide. Thanks all.
Maybe I’ll take a pain killer….or 70.
I wish everyone will stop telling me “ its okay “ because its not! , its not! at all you dont know how I feel how or what im thinking or even whats fully happening I can fool all of you with a fake smile and laugh
you dont know my family life , my friends or even me you dont know me you really dont I barley know me im broken as fuck and I cant fix myself I cant I cant help but cry myself to sleep every other night or dig my nails in to myself
you do know […]
Just wondering how everyone is feeling? Hope everyone is okay. I’m so tired, but I’ll live.
Being called stupid, an idiot, nothing, and told I should run away so I wont be anywhere close to here just isnt worth it anymore. Especially when it comes from your own father…
Why does it have to be so difficult
why
Why do i have to be such a coward
why…?!?!
WHY can’t I just DIE??
Why can’t I escape from my life?
It is so difficult and I have tried pretty much everything I can do except poisoning because I am scared shit of vomiting. Even then I have made a small overdose as the most pathetic attempt of the century.
I have one more plan and it could take a while before I can get to it.
I just am at a complete loss here… ;_; (damn i promised myself i wouldn’t cry or people would be wasting […]
Depression is slowly creeping up, and I don’t know why… most of the time I just wanna kill myself, rest from everyone and everything, but the worst part is that I’m too much of a coward to do it. I want to get away from all of this, I tired and I’m only 16. Sometimes I cut myself, I cut my wrist, I know I need to stop, I know I need help but I don’t know if I want it…
I thought I was alone, I thought I was the only person feeling like this, but I guess I’m not.
This is me.
“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for […]