It’s incredible to think that I have to stop here. But the pain is overwhelming. I am afraid of being alone. Too afraid. I have no family. I was abandoned by my parents when I was 6 and I never saw them again. Right now I have a GF who abuses me psychologically, she is a drug addict who cheats on me and I cannot leave her because I am too scared of being alone. Loneliness is my handicap and I can’t take it anymore. I have no self respect to say NO and way too much resentment towards her to be able to solve our problems. Tomorrow there will be a new day, and I will go contemplate suicide face to face. I will go to a place where I can jump. I know where it is. And that moment will determine if I give life a chance or not. My life has certainly been horrible, and if I can have one wish, it would be to never ever return to this planet, if there is such a thing as reincarnation. I hate this fucking place. I never want to see it again, I want to forget I ever knew humanity. So many injustices everywhere. I thank anyone who read this, these are the words of a dead man walking. If you do not feel the same way as me, go out tomorrow for a run, go to the park, appreciate nature, do something you like, hug your wife or husband, thank them for the love they give you, call your mother or father, or anyone who has been kind to you, just do something you love, do it for me, please.
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I’m gonna call my mom tomorrow.
aero9,
hello i was extermily touched by your post, i’m so……………. sorry that life has been unkind to you and yet your unbitter about others that’s great. everyone well atleast most people have a fear of being alone me too! if your situation is bad you need to change it somehow? i don’t know the answer but killing yourself aw! hum? i think i rather you met the right person and started a nice family and perhaps had a kid your could spoil and showed people how it should be done right.
ok, i will do that for you. but for everyone else, you’ve got to promise that you’re not going to kill yourself. that you’re going to try to meet new people, and that you will think long and hard about whether she’s the one for you. it seems she has a lot of problem herself, and maybe if you could get her some help?
there is so much of the world to be seen, and so much of it that needs someone that is capable of empathy. you are a good, and a rare being. you have a whole life full of compassionate acts, words, and encounters the world desperately needs. please don’t give up on you, and for what it’s worth, please don’t give up on us.