This is my second post now that I’ve started talking about suicide, I know its only been like a day since I started posting but I wish that I could feel like this was helping me, the urge to cut is so overwhelming but I’m trying to be strong. The reason I’m posting now is cause I’m trying to find a way to tell my off and on boyfriend that I’ve been trying to kill myself. I’m scarred that either he will freak and tell my parents or leave me permanently without even trying to understand, and maybe I want that, to have something physical to base the source of my pain on cause right now everything is just so confusing. He really and truly would do anything for me and I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t understand how I have people in my life who care but I still feel like the shit of the earth. But anyway does anyone have an idea on how I could tell him about this?
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2 comments
Are you in therapy? You can’t keep this all bottled up inside or you might cut even more to release what’s bottled up inside. Boyfriend and family aside, you are the most important person in this circumstance, your mental health, well-being and survival.
Finding the right therapist can be difficult. Finding the right person to talk to can be equally difficult. Do you have a grandmother or aunt or older friend or teacher or minister you trust who can help you find a good therapist?
Your pain is not your fault. This is a chemical imbalance, just like diabetes, and can be treated. I know that’s hard to believe, but there is medical help out there. Please seek it. I did, and it helps.
No don’t have a therapist I don’t have the money for that, I just started talking to one of my friends about it and he is really good at calming me down when I’m at my worst. I defiantly am starting to understand how talking about it helps but I am used to keeping it inside. I can’t remember a time I didn’t feel this way I don’t know any other form existence. I am happy for you that its helping and your feeling better.