I’m not wanted here

I’m not really wanted here at my home, my town, or my school. People even say it to me. Everyone seems to be strait up with me. Like “No one even likes you here, just leave already.” “If you take all of your medication and die no one would even care.” I mean like, I ignore them. But I can see why they don’t like me, I don’t even like me. Haha. I’m ugly, I’m too quiet, I never talk, I’m weird, I stare too much, I try to be smart in school (but get judged for it), my whole life revolves around my dead dog. Like I’m a total freak! Anyways, last night was another big freight train. Literally, a whole post was about me, a couple people actually backed me up. But others just made fun of me and told me to kill myself (of course). I’m basically used to all of this now. My normal days consist of: Waking up, getting yelled at for being late because I couldn’t wake up (insomnia), going to school, having everyone give me a dirty look, have a couple say a few mean things, get yelled at and embarrassed in class, go home, lay in bed, cry my eyes out for about 20 mins, try to find whatever is sharp enough to pierce through my skin (since my parents took away everything I had to harm myself), cut myself, take some pills and pass out. My family doesn’t talk to me much, when they do they always yell and me and call me some mean names, my brother abuses me so I try not to go outside my room much. This town is just full of a bunch of stuck up preppy bitches, and meth heads. Everyone here is judgmental and they don’t care about anyone, but themselves. Oh here I go blabbing on and on and on, I’m really just wanting to express my feelings here. Anyways I’ll continue, well I’m only 15, diagnosed with depression, schizophrenia, and bi-polar. It has tooken over my life, I’m trying to get better. Ive been to counseling, therapy, mental hostpitals, and rehab; it’s all a joke. None of it actually works. My medication calms me down a bit, but not much. I don’t want to be selfish and just take my life away just like that, even though that’s what it might come to I if I don’t change soon. My first attempt at suicide was when my bestfriend passed away last year. She was my everything, I looked forward to her everyday, to hug her, kiss her, snuggle with her, and just tell her I love her more than anything. She was 14, she was my twin (even though she’s a dog, we were still born the same day, year, an hour.) I basically took pain killers, started throwing up uncontrollably, and was carried away to the hostpital, got my stomach pumped, sent to a mental institute. After that, everyone knew the real me. Everyday day I have a fake smile on my face so people won’t bother me, everyday I feel like I’m suffering. I know there’s more out there that have worse life’s, but it’s just so hard not to tell everyone what’s going on. I mean like I don’t want to bottle it all up. Please help me.