only when im alone does this mask come off it feels like i cant tell anyone anything in fear of judgment and being condemd weak i dont think theres been a single day i havnt cried this weak they say a man shouldnt cry but only if you knew the legit reasons i have that i havnt told you for as long as i can remember suicide has been a thought yet somehow by schools standards it goes against everything ive been tuaght ive never had parents im the lonely guy that tried to fit in but got told off the one that had no […]
March 2013
So Today. I signed up for this website. I knew about it for awhile and i saw some of your stories. There touching and sad. Sometimes i wanna reachout and touch you and say everything is gonna be ok but most of the time its not. no matter how hard you try. All the things in your pass comes back and stabs you right in your heart when it was actually being patched up. i have manic Depression, Bi-polar, sleeping disorder,skizo, i seen Things and been through plenty of things in life that has hurt me and made me scared im 15 years old. im […]
And who will remember your last goodbye?These are the lyrics from Black Veil Brides-In the end.It’s true.WHO? Who will remember that I WAS HERE???Who cares?Who will remember me when I’ll be dead?NO!”I wanna leave my mark here so everyone will know I WAS HERE”.Who will tell my story?To die?To live? This time I take the decission.
hello.This is my story.I’m Cristina.I’m alone.I don’t know what is that word called “love”.I’m just a girl.I’m just a lonely girl.And I wanna die.There were so many times when I wanted to end my life but I couldn’t.Now what am I supposed to do?I just sit down and wait for somebody  to come and save me for depression.I need someone to talk to me and give me a reason to smile.I already started to cut myself.I’m bleeding outside now.But I’m also bleeding inside.
Today, I woke up in my friends house. I wasn’t shocked at all. I was actually a bit relieved. I remember last night in a blur. My adoptive “parents” yelled at me for something I don’t even remember. They were screaming at the top of their lungs. I’m not even sure why or what I did that was so wrong.
The bad part came when Brian, my “dad” raised his arm. I could’ve sworn he was gonna smack me. So, as his hand was about to hit my face i stopped him. I kicked the bastard in the groin so hard, I hope he won’t be […]
I feel so lost and depressed. It’s been years since I haven’t felt really happy. I’m so scared about my future, everything is so blurry. I’m 16 and supposed to know what I want to do for the rest of my life, but I have no idea. I just know I want to leave my family because my dad is so mean and I can’t stay. He yells at me all the time, and tells me I’m nothing. And maybe he’s right.
But before I kill myself, I want to see if life outside of my family is different. I have to leave and I want […]
When you think that you have hit rock bottom you just get lower and you don’t know what to do. How do you cope with that when you don’t know what the bottom is and just don’t want to see the bottom or the way out either. I never want to get out of bed these day, but when I do I can’t seem to stay awake no matter what I do. I just want to die and never have to feel tired again because I will never wake up again. Everyone say to find the good thing for the day, but what if there […]
I’ve lost myself.
Im
so depressed. I’m trapped in the dark depression in my mind. I’m tired of fighting. I think about ending it all everyday. My depression and bad memories are slowly killing my soul. It would be so nice to sleep and never wake up.i have lost hope. I’m giving up.
please someone come and hug me
please hug me tight and make me believe this pain will end
and please hug me and let me get out of this depth of my fears
please hug me tight and make me believe me im strong
If there is reincarnation, I hope that I come back as some critter with an easy life. Anything in the Archaea or Bacteria domains would be great. If I get stuck slumming in the Eukaryote domain again then I hope that I’m a fungus, amoeba, any type of plant or maybe a jellyfish.
Some people post about experiencing burnout on here but they are each DOING something: they’re working 2 jobs, coping with some stressor or maybe they’re students. They are balls-to-the-wall: of course they feel tired. But there’s no stressor for myself that I can think of. My nerves are completely […]
I have been having suicidal thoughts for so long.
I thought I could maybe talk to someone who is also having ones. I thought maybe we could share story and make each other feels better. And lately, I found two persons in my school with the same problem.
The first one (M) is such a cute girl, with big beautiful eyes and active social life. She has this large group of friends, telling her how great she is, giving her advices, assuring her that she is strong, telling her she is missed when she is not around. She is a cheerleader with a lot of boys chasing […]
we could run away forever
we could be alone together.
or we could wait forever
we could bear to not see eachother.
but whether, were together
or whether, were apart.
we’ll have a home forever.
in eachother’s hearts
and It’ll be hard to run away,
It’ll be hard to lose everything.
it’ll be hard to forget it all,
it’ll be hard.
and it’ll be good,
when we embrace
it’ll be good,
to see your face,
it’ll be good,
to know one home,
it’ll be good ya’ know.
It’ll be swell,
I swear,
It’s better than hell,
or here.
It’ll be swell,
i’m sure.
It’s gonna be […]
leave me alone
let me bring the pain out
cut and cut all the time
cutting feels so great
scars makes me feel secure
just fuck off im too tired of this fucking shit and its getting worse i just want to end it someway and feel a permanent relief no more pain no fears nothing to worry
true relief from all the fucking shit
end this life and free myself from tommorows and my yesterdays
freedom from this suffocating past and fucking future
but im sure life can bring answer to my ques. but death cannot
“Hello.”
“Hi” where are you when I need you?
“How are you?”
“Good.” horrible. help me.
“I haven’t seen you in forever, it seems!”
“Yeah.” i know. i’ve been so lonely.
“Hey-are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” no, i’m suicidal.
“If there’s anything wrong, you can tell me, okay?”
“I know. But there isn’t.” we have so much to talk about.
Okay. Wait-what happened to your wrist?”
“Nothing. I don’t even know what it is.” yes, you do. you still have the razor.
“Are you SURE you don’t want to talk to me?”
“Yes. Now, go away.” stay if you want to know.
“Oh… um, bye.”
“Bye.” she doesn’t care about you. […]
it’s nice being in this community with people that seem to have the same feelings me,
i was starting thinking that i am the only one that may be feeling that way,
but i see that there are some other people feeling the same way i do,
i ve been thinking of suicide often too,
but i don’t want to know that there a re people out there who are about to do it,
i don’t know why but it hurts me.
i’ve been thinking of it for me, but i can’t even stand the idea that […]
At the moment, I’m thinking about the best way to die in order to affect my family in the least way possible. I just don’t want to hurt them. Maybe I should make it look like an accident? My physical and mental state have accepted the fact that I’m finally ready to go and now it’s just calm. 5 days to change my mind. This is it. I need to make a plan and pray for my wellbeing and for others too.
Hello everyone.
Today is my last day. Tonight I will be ending things and finally finding total freedom and nothingness.
To my dear Nat, goodbye my sweet Princess. Just keeping my promise to tell you goodbye. Sent you an email not sure if you got it.
To any others who I have conversed with. I really hope things have improved for you or will improve. And that your pain lessens enough for life to be at least somewhat joyful. Many of you are suffering mainly or totally because of others and I wish I had the power to take that pain away from you. Sometimes people are treated […]
I hurt her already. Tore her heart apart, the only girl i really love. I did it again. Why did i do this again to her? No, i didnt hit her, i didnt emotionally abuse her. id never do thet to a girl. im too much of a southern gentleman. but i brike up with her a second time time. i thought it was a good idea, thought we didnt work out. now this bottle cant kill the pain of knowing iv dont this. i want her back. i miss my country girl. shes what makes my life worth living. if i come crawling back […]
Drinking alcohol excessively does the trick
Intravenous ketamine kills me for a bit
Snorting alot of mephedrone keeps me up for 2-3 days
I don’t need sleeping pills or coffee,I got my own ways
My heroin rescued me from crying again
Her brown eyes starring into mine solves the problem
One two,one two,I hate saying three
I’m scared not to fall off of this tree
Cause I’m on LSD!
Toxic love is what I’m left with today
Quittin’ all of that shit and being happy again?
NO FUCKING WAY!