That’s all I had planned to say here. But maybe I should say something else. My room smells like overwhelming dog piss, because my fucking dog has not absorbed three years of potty training. I think we should put him down.
I’ve been thinking a lot about school shootings lately. Did anyone here about the one in Ohio? TJ Lane? Anyway, it fascinates me. If I could get a hold of the guns, ammo, and confidence, I would do it. I know who I’d take out, and why. Fuck you, for telling everyone that lie about me having sex with that scum. Fuck you, for telling people that lie that I FUCKING ENJOYED being raped. Fuck you, for muttering bitchy things at me in History when I’ve done nothing to you. Fuck you, for never shutting up in Math, as if I really care about your life. Fuck your swag yolo bullshit, I can ensure that “You’ll Only Live Once.”
I hate people more and more every day. I cleaned my room, not so I could have ‘friends’ over like my mom wants, but to appease her so I can lay in bed and do nothing. I don’t even want to be with my boyfriend anymore. I used to love him, but now I’m just this anxiety-ridden mess. I want to do too many drugs, drink too much alcohol, have unprotected sex with older strangers who will think I’m just a very young looking eighteen year old. Iwant to fuck up my life beyond recognition. Oh, that great grade point average I got? Fuck it. Oh, prom? Nevermind, I’m not going. Fuck you.
4 comments
Stay away from drugs and alcohol they fucked me up big time, withdrawal is no fun. They’ve destroyed most of my relationships worth people because im too busy getting drunk so I dont have to feel my emotions.
What kind of dog do you have?
I have a chihuahua.
And I’m not going to abuse the substances, or ruin my life and further. I just often feel the need.
Hey,
If you ever feel like talking to someone, please consider contacting someone, say at http://www.integralcounseling.org/ … I believe you can talk to people over the phone, possible over email, and if you don’t want to spend much money, they can certainly accomodate you. It’s just about talking to someone who can help, who can listen — Nothing more than that. You have nothing to lose by calling!