It’s been a while, but you’re the only people I can turn to..

Wow, the last time I was here was a year ago..
& haven’t things got rough!

I was doing so well, I moved to London, started university and fell ridiculously depressed.

I relapsed again and again

I don’t think in control with myself anymore, my head is all over the place and my body is suffering. My bones are becoming weaker and weaker and I can’t cope. I almost broke my ankle recently and because of this my University won’t pass me for my first year because of the time off. I’ve been having tests upon tests to see whether I have a serious illness, they want to test for Cervical cancer if the tests result come back normal from the last ones. I’m so lonely, I have no friends here at all, I mean absolutely no friends… my class would shrug their shoulders if I killed myself. I think I have a mental illness, I’ve been feeling like I have one for a very very long time but I have no had the guts to go to the Doctor’s and see, I don’t know what it would be but I know something is not right with me. I’m too sad and not in control to be “normal”
I wish I had someone to talk to, I can’t do this much more. I’ve tried and tried for years to be happy and it’s not working. I finally accepted being raped and being involved in a pedophilia chain and I thought I was getting better. But I’m not. I’m getting worse.
Please help me, I don’t know what to do.

Thankyou xxx