my story part 1

Growing up I was the happiest little kid possible. But I dont know if I was truly happy.
I was constantly lied to from the time I was born. Always told that I was Mexican and Black because thats what my mom said to me. So I told others that, I tried to fit in but then I found out the real truth in about 3rd grade. When my mom told me that I was really black and white  I went and told my friends. Worst mistake of my life. I was in 3rd grade and labled as the biggest lier possible

Nothing made it better. I was a woman in 3rd grade. I had boobs the size that teen age girls had and I was so little. Guys thought it would be okay to touch me. The older boys at school would touch me and I just seen it as playing around. I didnt catch on untill I was camping with a family friend. Me and him shared a tent together and thats when it happened. I was laying down for bed and I laid next to me like usual. I turned my back to him to fall asleep and slowly I felt his hand creep up the bottom of my shirt. Slower and slower all the way up until he had ahold of me. I turned on my back to tell him to stop and he put his hand over my mouth.  I laid there quiet I hated making him mad so I didnt say a word. He pulled his shorts off and made me touch him. I closed my eyes wanting to scream for him to stop but he wouldnt listen. I started to cry and opened my eyes looking up at him. That concerned look in his eyes he stopped and moved his sleeping bag to the other side of the tent. I didnt sleep that night. My skin crawled and my body felt dirty.

Next day we took the boat out to the middle of the lake. he looked at me and started crying saying he apologized. I didnt speak. I took the life vest off and jumped in the water. This was suicide attempt number one. 3rd grade and I jumped. into the water knowing I couldnt swim.  i felt my lungs fill up with water and my body go limp. everything went black. next things i knew I was waking up in a hospital room. My life changed dramatically after that day.