Should I quite my job

I find peace in the moments rigth before and rigth after I come up with a plane to kill my self
I want to live but I don’t. I need to kill my self but the knifes at my house is too dull to cut……my social akwardness makes pushes me cloister to my death each time I go to work. I want to quite and sleep till I am dumb with high school. I want to work one my nigth to buy a really shaper knife.I have hope but it’s far to unrealistic ……I don’t know maybe I should just quite my job.