Triggered

Two people I follow and comment regularly on IG to have attempted suicide today. One succeed yesterday. I feel like a failure because when I tried, I failed. I really wish I hadnt. I have no one to talk to now because my boyfriend just left because he bought a stupid new game. Hes obviously upset about something right now… I dont know what. He wont tell me. But I kinda need him right now and he just got up and stopped talking to me because of his stupid game. Im selfish for saying that. He can never tell when I need him. Right now I need him. And hes not here. He wont answer me. I want to die. I want to cut. I really really really just want to be done with all of this bullshit. (sorry if this makes no sense im just typing what comes to mind as it does.)