Hi people, been like this for as long as i can remember, most of my problems are from me being lazy, i mean apparently a doctor says i’ve got depression too but truthfully i just think its my own stupid fault. I’m a big, lazy fat, 20 year old who spends his days indoors doing nothing, I see you great, amazing people and i wonder am i allowed to complain, you people are having to live through the real problems and i don’t feel like i should be allowed to complain. I’ve wanted to kill my self for such a long time now, though I’m too cowardly to do it though, plus for me (not that I’m judging anyone) but for me i couldn’t do it to the people that love me (i know i have an ego) because they say it would hurt.
I dunno what the answer is, i try to think off life in as positive way as possible and it just keeps on coming up with shadows. i did have a life once, then i threw it all away, now I’m too lazy to get it back, if i never existed that would be the perfect option, then no-one gets hurt. i used to be a decent drummer, i threw it away the one true calling i had in life. my uncle very thankfully has offered to pay to get me some help but the thing is i don’t want any money or material goods, i just wanna be a good person and help people, is that too much to ask?
so as you can see there’s no real problem, so should i even be allowed to do this?
thank you for reading 🙂
Peace
4 comments
You’re probably already a good person, so what’s this about helping people? Maybe you should try to walk (then run) with that.
Healthcare needs a lot if people. You could work anywhere and for any kind of patient (elderly, clinical specialized, emergency, children) or even in an office.
That’s what I’d suggest you could start as an untrained orderly, study nursing at a community college, keep studying, become a physician’s assistant and maybe even a physician if you like healthcare.
Everyday you’ll be face to face with people you’re helping directly. They’ll be grouchy sometimes but at least you won’t lose your soul fixing telecom bugs like I did.
I don’t know if it is really a question of deserving to belong or not. There are great people who do shitty things and shitty people who do great things, but most people don’t do shit.
And it’s totally okay to do nothing. Yes, it would be better to help people through their problems and make the world a better place, but there isn’t a requirement for you to do so.
Being your self is a good place to start. Let yourself feel everything, even if it’s shitty for a while. Tina Fey had a great perspective that is germane, paraphrased, ‘if a person needs to be fat, let them be fat for as long as they need to, if a person is so skinny their knees knock together, let them be’.
It takes time to settle in to life, and sometimes we never do. It’s okay. There isn’t a plan and there are no goals. Just be you.
Of course you have the right to complain.
First, you have people around you that love you. That’s huge. Many don’t have that.
Are you sure lazy is the right word? If so, it’s okay to be lazy sometimes.
If you like helping others you can offer words of encouragement or volunteer somewhere.
thank you all 🙂