PLEASE SOMEONE KILL ME

I want to die, i hate my life my family is terrible my brother is crazy ,a thief and a horrible person, his purpose in life is to annoy people, and my sister makes me feel bad about everything you come home happy she opens her mouth you want to kill yourself, school is awful, the only reason i am going is because my parents abuse me and i can’t say no to them also my father won’t give me a dime so i have to go to sell people answers to tests, homework and exams so i can get enough change to combine into enough money so i can pay for food on days my mom refuses to cook, i hate everyone in school especially the people who refuse to pay after i did their homework for them, the only reason i didn’t kill myself already is because i want to make it to heaven i mean if i have a HORRIBLE LIFE THEN AN EVEN MORE HORRIBLE AFTERLIFE i can’t find words to describe it i am crossing my finger that any moment now a car will hit me or i will get cancer or i will be pushed off a roof i cry every time i hear about someone dying before their time came i say why why would she or he die or get cancer or hit by a car and die she or he have a family who care about him and love him but he who didn’t even want to die is now dead and i am still here crossing my fingers that someday soon it will happen which proves that THE WORLD IS A HORRIBLE PLACE, there are no good days anymore and i think i might be sick but i know it is not life threatening because i have been sick for such a long time now i think it has been years i no longer know what it feels like not to be in pain i can’t remember how it feels like not to wake up with a headache or not to feel sick and nauseous every time i eat or drink neither can i remember what it feels like to be happy, i can’t smile anymore i try to smile but all that comes out is tears, so now i am sitting in my room in the dark wishing to die.