in too deep

You are not ugly. I ate to cover my pain and I was treated like a pariah every day when I went to school decades ago. If people are unable to look you in the eyes, especially your own family, then they have the problem not you. I’m not saying this as a pep talk. If your own mother cannot look you in the eyes and listen to you, truly listen, then she is the problem. Unfortunately, as I experienced in my youth, many parents have an enormous capacity to ignore their children when their children need them and their understanding the most. Also, a lot of people in this world are takers and enjoy seeing other people’s pain because it perversely takes away their own; I don’t know how to put it except that most of the human race lacks basic compassion. But there are so who do care, and I truly you hope you find someone. It sounds like you haven’t met the right people yet and it really only takes one good person to change your life.