as I sit here deep in thought. Am i something you forgot? I am lonely, I am cold. These feelings surrounding me are getting old. I wonder every day, if your love is here to stay. only God knows why so I sit here and I pray. hoping one day this pain will go away I feel torn I feel used I feel broken and abused my heart can’t take this anymore broken shattered on the floor. I am here you are there why can’t you just finally care you say you love me say its true but this love fires turning blue. broken […]
September 2013
The suicidal spirit remains connected with the body,allowing it to feel whatever happens to the body,such as cold,rottenness,the bites of worms
Dear parents: Im sorry Im not yhe best daughter, and Im just a disapointment to you guys. A good of nothing.
Dear brother and sister; Im sorry Im not the best good big sister, that Im just a bother, that I cant help you.
Dear Friends; Im sorry to make you guys suffer, that I left out and never talk to you. And leaving you.
Dear love; Â Im sorry Im not that preatty, that You couldnt love me I understand who can love someone like me. I wont be in your way.
Dear people; Im sorry for being a weirdow, a freak, for not being normal like every one […]
Right from the start
When we first met
I knew you were trouble
Yes,I do regret
The little brat was deceived
Did he do anything?
NO
You pulled him down
His spirit’s crying
In the dark now
So sad,he can put a teardrop in the devil’s eye
Everything just keeps braiking, I cant stand up anymore, I feel like daing inside, I cant anymore.
I told my sister that I want to die before I’m 16 and she said I REALLY need to get therapy and maybe me being in a MENTAL INSTITUTION would actually HELP me. All my sister ever does is undermine my problems. And thinks I don’t really want to kill myself
Since I last hurt myself. I’ve been forcing myself to try and stay strong and not do it again. I almost did yesterday, but I willed myself through it.
I had a spiritual experience the other day that… Well it scared me. What I saw. I am a Pagan who has fallen out of practice but am trying to pick myself up again through it. I’ve gone through these types of experiences before, but this one in particular really opened my eyes. At the local New Age shop, they have a cot in the back with a selenite grid underneath it with a bunch of […]
who is the alpha man here on sp?
I’m so ready to be done with it. I’ve got my setup just waiting for me to go peacefully into the quiet dark. It calls to me every night. This feeling in my chest physically hurts me and my brain is simply exhausted. But my plan calls on me to wait.
If I do it right, I’ll help a lot of people in the process. Until December, it’s just building up my savings so I’ll have something worthwhile to leave behind and cover my expenses. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until then. I’m trying to be considerate to those who have to clean […]
So, I started working at KingSoopers recently, and it’s not bad. Then I learned that my friend got hired there. He was flirting with me, and I him. But he doesn’t know that I cut. He doesn’t know that I have to everyday before work. He doesn’t know that I was suicidal, or that I still am. I suck at dating, no relationship has ever worked out, the guy always becomes an ass. But, I like him. Do I tell him that I like him? Do I tell him about the cuts? Should I just shut up and bag my groceries and get the job […]
Why do people push love away before they can give love a chance?
Fear, Frustration, Anger and Heart Break changes that.
Have you ever been so excited and so alive with one person yet for no apparent reason they just leave and everything changes? One day you guys are doing so much and are so happy that you can’t leave that person behind, because you think that there isn’t anyone as loving like them or enjoy each other’s company? You’ve done almost everything together and feels like nobody can ever replace them? Then one day, you both wake up. They leave you behind for other people. They lie; make excuses. Then they or another person tells you that they never met […]
And so the end becomes the beginning becomes the end and so forth…The cycle has to STOP! Please make it stop!
I quit cutting for the longest time, but now it’s all I think about. If I tell the people who call themselves my friends, they’ll freak. I don’t know what to do right now. Talk to my friends and risk it, or…be alone…
I feel like crap. Im tired, and I am suicidal. Like anyone would care.
Wrote suicide notes last night. I go up n down. I can hardly relate to what I fell like or think when im in the opposite. I just dont give a fuck anymore. I wanna just get on with dying.
I want to share the change that happened in me. Maybe my words will mean something to someone. I met some people that shared some ideas with me and their words hit me where i needed it. These were those words:
I am not my thoughts, feelings or states, those are the things that are just passing through me. I can choose if i want to relate to them. I am the one that is aware of the thoughts and feeling,s, so they are not a part of me. They are the clouds and i am the sky. I exist even without any of […]
the other post is getting heavier to load so i have forced to creat this one:)
Here are some proofs for god’s none existence.they are logical but they work 90% depending no your open mindness
I’m not an engish native speaker but this is the only bullshit that i was able to write in english some years ago. Better to post here for a fleeting moment than let it die completely with me. Part of a planned and bigger story (never to happen, no point wahtsoever).
Astarte was walking up a green flowery hill at the end of a calming and peaceful day to deliver an important message to one of the leaders of the region.
The little colored birds that were happily flying around were able to enjoy watching her simple, but gentle, village clothes, and […]
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]