My plan is motion. My method, divine. I’ll gain his trust. He will be blind to my plot. I will dazzle him with my enthusiasm for life, and then, when his head is turned and never-the-wiser, my plan will surpass the methods of past, and victory shall be mine. His pain will be great, as great as our love, but release from my pain will bring sweet victory at last. He will morn, and then move on, once I am gone.
It’s better for him to find someone worthy of his time. Someone who shines as he does. Who laughs and plays as he does. Who delights and whiles him as I once did. I can still remember the laughter we shared. My God, the times we had, the love we embraced. We danced and sang, and oh how we laughed.
What happened to me? Why did I die inside? My life is so beautiful, so perfect, so picturesque. I have no reason, physical, mental, or financial, for my pain, but it is ever lasting and always there, smothering me from the inside out. I do not have cancer. My illness has no diagnosis, but my resulting death from whatever this is, is just as sure as those who do. He deserves so much more than I can give, so I shall give him the greatest gift I can…his release. Live and laugh my love. Do what I cannot.
5 comments
The first paragraph made me cry
“Deny your own Identity, and you will not escape the madness which induced this weird, unnatural and ghostly thought that mocks creation and that laughs at God. Deny your own Identity, and you assail the universe alone, without a friend, a tiny particle of dust against the legions of your enemies. Deny your own Identity, and look on evil, sin and death, and watch despair snatch from your fingers every scrap of hope, leaving you nothing but the wish to die.”
@youwillneverknowme, I wish I could still cry, I forgot what it felt like.
@snake, i wasnt crying, just that feeling, uhh, you know what i mean, right?
though the last time i cried was 2 months ago i think
I feel ya bro….