Most people who have never had depression think depression is no more than just sadness. However, depression is much, much more. It is a never ending link of sadness. It doesn’t go away for a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t go away at all. There is almost no happiness when your are depressed or suicidal. For example, imagine when you are extremely sad. Now imagine that that extreme sadness never, ever goes away, at least not for a very long time. That is what it is like when you have depression.
Like I remember one time, I was at a thanksgiving party (This was last year in sixth grade) and everyone was downstairs eating, laughing and playing while I was upstairs in my room with my door locked. I was buried under my pillow and blanket. After a few minutes, I had a random breakdown and cried my eyes out for a few minutes. I could hear everyone downstairs shouting “Where the hell is Mina? I can’t find her!” I didn’t even bother to get up and tell them that I was in my room. Finally, my sister unlocked my door. Everyone was like “IT’S MINA! YAY!” Then they all jumped on my bed a tickled me. I was so pissed and upset at the time that I just screamed “GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY ROOM!!!!! I NEED MY GODDAMN PRIVACY!!!!!” They were like “What’s your deal?” and walked out of my room. I grabbed my knife and cut my arms and stomach a couple of times. then I turned the light off and took a three hour nap. This is what depression can do to you. It can make you want to not spend time with your family and cause you to sleep more. See? Depression is much more than sadness.
4 comments
I wish I could sleep more.
Lately I have combined some alcohol with my Clonazepam and that has helped.
I sleep better, and thus have more energy during the day.
Maybe thats not for everyone, I dont intend to OD, I just feel I need both to sleep well.
Well, I don’t drink, but good for you.
We are in some ways mirrors of what we surround ourselves with. You’ll of course feel even more depressed just lockin yourself in your room. I do think it’s important to be alone and reflect on your problems . But pherhaps you can pass the time maybe going for walks or siting outside . And try to connect with your family more . Clearly they care about you .
I know… maybe you’re right…