Item number one: i don’t have a best friend (unless my dog counts, which i suppose he does, but he’ll likely need to be euthanized pretty soon anyway; how will that make me feel?).
Item number two: since i have no friends (IRL), siblings of random strangers don’t matter.
Item number three: my mother already regrets having me, and lives with the sadness caused by my inevitable suffering, to which she regularly bears witness.
Item number four: my father will not “find me,” and i’m sure he already thinks quite poorly of me, for various reasons. I didn’t amount to anything, and can’t support myself. What kind of father would want to look at such a thing? Not mine, and not me, if i had a son. Plus, it’s mostly not his fault anyway, since he wasn’t a primary influence in my life, aside from genetics… and i have very few complaints about my genes… but those i do have, seem quite critical.
Item number five: i do not have, have not had, and will never have, a legitimate significant other. Point is therefore moot. In fact, this alone is a “good enough reason” to choose death. Most people would never volunteer to live an entire lifetime without being loved by another non-family human being… but i digress.
Item number six: My two half-sisters will be fine. They’ll be sad sometimes, angry at first, but they both have more important things to do, than to wallow in anguish over my suicide: Children. (extension to this point, is that i would rather not be the weird-loser-uncle… but i don’t get to choose otherwise, so the only other option is removing myself from the equation entirely. If i were to do so while alive, my sisters would be angry or upset or whatever, that i’ve avoided their children; if i’m dead, they can’t think i’m avoiding or ignoring them…)
Item number seven: my family deserves to not understand my choice; they always went out of their way to make sure to see a false, fantastical reality, through filters and false constructs, instead of the real reality that exists as it is, regardless of anyone who tries to believe it isn’t. Even if i delivered a perfect explanation to them, they would not understand it, because they have willingly perpetuated their own mental incompatibility with the reality which acts as the premise for all my thoughts and understanding. I cannot “explain” reality to someone who simply refuses to see it without their ridiculous filters.
Item number eight: someone who needs a room, would have a new vacancy to occupy, in my permanent absence.
Item number nine: the only person i could call an “ex girlfriend,” would never dare approach or show her face to me again. She would most likely celebrate my suicide, as it would mean the only other person who knows the truth and can contest her lies with reckless honesty, will be gone, and there would be nothing stopping her from saying whatever she thinks she needs to say, to manipulate people into thinking and doing what she wants.
Item number ten: of course it will change things. Lots of changes will occur. But there’s nothing inherently wrong with “change,” and from a purely objective view, many of the ensuing changes would be good things, even if they can only occur in combination with the very few bad things (like the grief and anguish of a mere handful of beings) which would result. The phrase “gotta take the bad with the good” applies here. Killing myself would in fact not be “all bad” for those few people who would even care at all. They might not appreciate the improvements at first, but they would likely learn, in time. And if not, well too bad.
Item number eleven: I’m not being inordinately selfish; i’m simply making a decision that must be made, and deciding to sacrifice, in order to do what must be done: i must cease this suffering, and i must stop “being selfish” enough to continue draining the resources of others, without any hope of ever accomplishing anything or producing any gains. Basically, other people are paying for me to continue living to only suffer. No one is getting anything positive out of this, and i am plagued with wildly excessive negativity that i cannot avoid. People are sad that i’m suffering, and they will be sad when i die. Perhaps they will eventually be not sad, when realizing that i am no longer suffering a miserable existence, nor draining resources or occupying space which could be used for a more productive purpose.
And don’t You be selfish enough to demand that i continue suffering, without having any viable and sufficient solution ready to offer. If you have no better answer (which you don’t; they never do…), then your opinion simply doesn’t matter, because you are unqualified to have a valid one.
I’m not “romanticizing” anything. I fucking hate that i never had a chance to live a real life, and i hate that i have to be the one to stop what should never have begun, and i hate that after all this time wasted waiting for what would never come, and all this misery and anguish and despair i’ve courageously survived and endured… there will be no gain from doing so; only loss. And i will still have to face the same pain of death, as everyone else, even though i was never allowed an opportunity to truly live. The entire thing is a SNAFU. My life was never good, and it’s time to accept the worst-case-scenario: a total loss. But i must cut those losses; both for my own sake, as well as that of others… even if they end up thinking the wrong things. The irony is that my life was ruined because of other people thinking the wrong things.
Crying is a part of life. Emotional distress is a part of having feelings and a conscience.
You should be thankful for your sadness, since you think life is so “worth living.”
I, on the other hand, do not. I would rather be nothing, than what i am, where i am, and all that i can predict i may ever be. I wanted so much more and better out of life, but it’s just not going to happen, and so there is no reason for me to continue to be.
5 comments
Sounds like it promotes guilt. Not necessarily my first go to emotion
Another asshole with guilt tactics 101…
Well, I would read it, if I COULD read it. But it’s blurred, so it’s almost impossible to read it.
Yawn. They’re going to be dead too, so who really cares about how much they sob?
Oh goodie, i needed a reason to login.
Item number one: i don’t have a best friend (unless my dog counts, which i suppose he does, but he’ll likely need to be euthanized pretty soon anyway; how will that make me feel?).
Item number two: since i have no friends (IRL), siblings of random strangers don’t matter.
Item number three: my mother already regrets having me, and lives with the sadness caused by my inevitable suffering, to which she regularly bears witness.
Item number four: my father will not “find me,” and i’m sure he already thinks quite poorly of me, for various reasons. I didn’t amount to anything, and can’t support myself. What kind of father would want to look at such a thing? Not mine, and not me, if i had a son. Plus, it’s mostly not his fault anyway, since he wasn’t a primary influence in my life, aside from genetics… and i have very few complaints about my genes… but those i do have, seem quite critical.
Item number five: i do not have, have not had, and will never have, a legitimate significant other. Point is therefore moot. In fact, this alone is a “good enough reason” to choose death. Most people would never volunteer to live an entire lifetime without being loved by another non-family human being… but i digress.
Item number six: My two half-sisters will be fine. They’ll be sad sometimes, angry at first, but they both have more important things to do, than to wallow in anguish over my suicide: Children. (extension to this point, is that i would rather not be the weird-loser-uncle… but i don’t get to choose otherwise, so the only other option is removing myself from the equation entirely. If i were to do so while alive, my sisters would be angry or upset or whatever, that i’ve avoided their children; if i’m dead, they can’t think i’m avoiding or ignoring them…)
Item number seven: my family deserves to not understand my choice; they always went out of their way to make sure to see a false, fantastical reality, through filters and false constructs, instead of the real reality that exists as it is, regardless of anyone who tries to believe it isn’t. Even if i delivered a perfect explanation to them, they would not understand it, because they have willingly perpetuated their own mental incompatibility with the reality which acts as the premise for all my thoughts and understanding. I cannot “explain” reality to someone who simply refuses to see it without their ridiculous filters.
Item number eight: someone who needs a room, would have a new vacancy to occupy, in my permanent absence.
Item number nine: the only person i could call an “ex girlfriend,” would never dare approach or show her face to me again. She would most likely celebrate my suicide, as it would mean the only other person who knows the truth and can contest her lies with reckless honesty, will be gone, and there would be nothing stopping her from saying whatever she thinks she needs to say, to manipulate people into thinking and doing what she wants.
Item number ten: of course it will change things. Lots of changes will occur. But there’s nothing inherently wrong with “change,” and from a purely objective view, many of the ensuing changes would be good things, even if they can only occur in combination with the very few bad things (like the grief and anguish of a mere handful of beings) which would result. The phrase “gotta take the bad with the good” applies here. Killing myself would in fact not be “all bad” for those few people who would even care at all. They might not appreciate the improvements at first, but they would likely learn, in time. And if not, well too bad.
Item number eleven: I’m not being inordinately selfish; i’m simply making a decision that must be made, and deciding to sacrifice, in order to do what must be done: i must cease this suffering, and i must stop “being selfish” enough to continue draining the resources of others, without any hope of ever accomplishing anything or producing any gains. Basically, other people are paying for me to continue living to only suffer. No one is getting anything positive out of this, and i am plagued with wildly excessive negativity that i cannot avoid. People are sad that i’m suffering, and they will be sad when i die. Perhaps they will eventually be not sad, when realizing that i am no longer suffering a miserable existence, nor draining resources or occupying space which could be used for a more productive purpose.
And don’t You be selfish enough to demand that i continue suffering, without having any viable and sufficient solution ready to offer. If you have no better answer (which you don’t; they never do…), then your opinion simply doesn’t matter, because you are unqualified to have a valid one.
I’m not “romanticizing” anything. I fucking hate that i never had a chance to live a real life, and i hate that i have to be the one to stop what should never have begun, and i hate that after all this time wasted waiting for what would never come, and all this misery and anguish and despair i’ve courageously survived and endured… there will be no gain from doing so; only loss. And i will still have to face the same pain of death, as everyone else, even though i was never allowed an opportunity to truly live. The entire thing is a SNAFU. My life was never good, and it’s time to accept the worst-case-scenario: a total loss. But i must cut those losses; both for my own sake, as well as that of others… even if they end up thinking the wrong things. The irony is that my life was ruined because of other people thinking the wrong things.
Crying is a part of life. Emotional distress is a part of having feelings and a conscience.
You should be thankful for your sadness, since you think life is so “worth living.”
I, on the other hand, do not. I would rather be nothing, than what i am, where i am, and all that i can predict i may ever be. I wanted so much more and better out of life, but it’s just not going to happen, and so there is no reason for me to continue to be.
So fuck Your post.