I wish I knew what’s wrong with me – I think I may have started a few posts with that line before! I need a rant, and a good long cry, and some sort of an answer from whichever celestial being might be listening. I have been single for a long time, now I have a fantastic boyfriend. He tells me everyday that I’m beautiful, yet I can’t allow myself to believe him. I’m convinced that he’s too good for me. He loves me, and he wants to marry me – yet I find myself fighting the urge to cut, and I have so many suicidal thoughts floating around in my head. He’s the perfect partner for me, and yet I am too scared to just give in and let him love me. 14 years ago I had decided that I didn’t want to live past my current age, that this would be the year I would end it all, no matter what. I have this beautiful man in my life, my finances are picking up, I have a roof over my head, and food on my plate, and clothes on my back. I have so much more than so many others do, but I still long to close my eyes and never wake up again. Am I really just a selfish person? Are these feelings normal? What do I do?
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Dear crazylostme,
Why are you scared, why do you believe you are not worthy of this man’s love?
The urge to cut, is that a defense mechanism in your mind that would be used to distance yourself from this man’s love?
Celestial beings! Exactly what we are!
You could always keep posting with that and turn it into trademark. Or song. Kind of catchy kind of song, if we work on it
My advise as celestian, talk him that you feel like this, kiss him more, spend more time with him and start awesome like gardening
And yes normal to feel like that. But you deserve happiness